Oh... dream scenario, eh? That's nothing.
NIU- OSU 41, NIU 24 ...We may have some trouble defending the run, but Troy Smith is going to have a GOD among men type of game. Heisman hype goes through the roof!
Texas- OSU 24, Texas 17 ...If Texas is going to win... it's going to be with their defense.
Cincy- OSU 66, Cincy 10 ...This is not the Cincy we saw in 2002.
Penn State- OSU 31, PSU 24 ...Ginn has three special teams' touchdowns to help with the win. Chris Wells has the other. Troy Smith doesn't get love from the press... :( but Ginn's Heisman hype goes through the roof!
Iowa- OSU 42, Iowa 14 ...Iowa is deflated by early losses in non-conference play and does not show up for the game. Smith redeems himself.
BGSU- OSU 87, BGSU 6 ...Everything clicks on all cylinders as Ohio State shows just how DEEP their roster goes. Troy Smith rewrites records for single game passing and rushing yards by a QB. Team records are smashed. The Heisman race explodes for Ginn and Smith. Bowling Green coach vows never to play the Buckeyes again... until their athletic director waves money in his face.
MSU- OSU 24, MSU 21 (OT) ...Back to reality. Tressel is visibly mad (can't say pissed... I can't imagine Tressel being pissed). The team partied too hard after dismantling BGSU and they were sluggish for this game.
Indiana- OSU 73, Indiana 3 ...OSU has their 2nd best statistical game of all time. Tressel is visibly happy. ESPN complains that our juggernaut offense is unstable and unreliable because ESPN sucks balls for ratings. They bring up Troy Smith's problems in the distant past and practically declare that Brady Quinn should get the Heisman.
Minny- OSU 37, Minny 21 ...Not even a close game... until the fourth quarter. Turnovers almost kill us. Tressel is calm as ever... but does something in the locker room that has all of his players holding onto their balls until next week. Heisman hype wains a little. Regis Philban gets so excited about BQ that he has a small heart attack.... only to add more media buzz around Notre Dame's undefeated record. People start predicting a national championship between the Bucks and ND.
Illinois- OSU 52, Illinois 10 ...Another great game for the Bucks, nobody but the Buckeye faithful cares because it was against Illinois. Pittman and Chris Wells both run for over 150 yards.
NW- OSU 40, NW 16 ...Northwestern keeps it competitive for the first 12 minutes. Ginn then runs a total distance of 122 yards for a 74 yard touchdown... in only 13 seconds. Jaws drop across the country. Regis Philban has another heart attack... slightly more serious than the last. After regaining consciousness, Regis pulls every string he can to twist the story so that BQ gave him the heart attack with a 12 yard pass. Heisman voters feel obligated to vote for BQ... come on... Regis almost died... twice.
scUM- OSU 42, scUM 38 ...Our young defense is overwhelmed and does not play to potential. scUM takes advantage of every mistake. Chris Wells saves the day with 4:32 on the clock with a 68 yard gallop for a touchdown. That is the last score of the game. Llllloyd tries to spank Tressel on the butt, like how Tressel owned him last year, but misses completely on national television. Carr tries to shrug it off, but inside his mind is racing with rage and embarassment. Michigan finishes the season with 4 losses.
National Championship- OSU 56, ND 5 ...Yup 5. One sack resulting in a safety on Todd Boeckman in the 4th quarter. One fieldgoal... many tears for the ND faithful. Tennessee is outraged they were excluded from the National Championship with an undefeated record, but they finish 2nd in non-BCS polls. Brady Quinn won the Heisman before the game. Laurinitas takes out Quinn on the very first play from scrimmage with a monster hit. We have to listen to ND complain about how they would have won if they only had Brady Quinn for like the next 20 years.
I kind of like the ring of "Tressel's Bitch II."
