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...and the Army, the Air Force, the Marines, elementary schools, locker rooms...

You fucking stoners are why I couldn't even get a bottle of Scotch during my Presidency. Well, I couldn't legally get one.

Ahhhh....damn....aaah....this is...aaaaah...almost....aaaaahhh...worth...oh fuuuuuck...impeachment.

Paging Mr. Tilden. Sam Tilden, call your office. Mr. Gore is busy melting icebergs for his next propaganda film, and won't be able to join you at this time.

You actually wish to attempt to follow my lead? Pride, indeed, goeth before destruction. Have you and Jefferson been hitting the poppies, again?

For the record, Tilden told me that Theo was in reality a big speaking soft stick. Bully, my ass! Now then, shall we scurry to the oral Oval Office while dear Gracie is indisposed?

Young lady, I believe you and I have some business to discuss in the Oval Office. You see, for all of her charm sexuality, Grace has never been fond of chin music. Conversely, like our friend Buchanan, I understand you have a particular penchant for that sort of thing.

My so-called "racial insensitivity" is shared by the black people who run the Congressional Black Caucus and the colored people who run the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. Take it up with them. I swear you're as bad as Tilden. You're both in denial about your...

Buchanan, you politically-correct fool! No wonder you couldn't get a woman, even when you were in the White House. Allow me to introduce you to the following the groups: Congressional Black Caucus National Association for the Advancement of Colored People

The deal the Hayes-backers made was with members of your own party, who sold you down the river in exchange for ending the Reconstruction. That speaks volumes about how your party truly felt about you, not to mention Blacks. Yes, Samantha, I got it. :roll1:

Stop being a drama queen, Sam. Your failed election was about as relevant to American history as another quart of water going over Niagara Falls.

Hey look, it's Neville Chamberlain.

And you call me solemn? I hear Wichita Falls has a street named after you, among the streets named after real Presidents. Maybe you should head down there, indulge your fantasy, and cheer up a bit.

Says the guy working on 134 years of hate. Let it go, man.

Says one crybaby loser to another. You two should hook up with Tilden and take Vaudeville by storm. Larry, Moe and Curly got nothing on you.

Enough about your marriage and career, Al...

I bet you and Tilden having an arm wrestling contest would be the match of the century.

Still pissed no one ever swore you into office, eh Sam? Just one more vote...one...more...vote.

Your knowledge of economics, history and science is stupefying. Good thing you had daddy's coattails to carry you along for the ride.

Any fool can pork a slave in chains, except Tilden of course.