He's so old, I told him I had a bottle of 18 year old scotch, he said he still has a bottle of the wine Jesus made.
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Evil fucking monkey and her evil assistant.
Under "place of birth" on his birth certificate it reads "Pangea"...it's also written on some dried animal skin.
He's so old that the candles on his birthday cake are causing global warming.
Best Buckeye is so old he forgot his wallet on Noahs ark.
Did you see Step Brothers?
I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.
I need to watch this movie tomorrow. New drinking game - every time you laugh, you drink.
I generally like when people need to pass out, but still want more. Usually means good times ahead, and I'm not talking about rape.
That's going to be you tomorrow.
Just read these: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) - Memorable quotes
I know you've read them already, but fuck.
If that's a quote, I did not know it. Sounds like a Will Ferrell/John C. Reilly quote.
Sometimes we need a drunken night that gets us to do regrettable things. I haven't had one for some time now. Probably since my birthday..
Should've went then. Fuck. I'm probably just going to drink liquor tomorrow night and skip beer. Bottle of Southern Comfort is fairly cheap for the amount of fucked up it will get me.
Cocksucker.
I thought about stopping by Rooster's tonight on the way to Zanesville. But I didn't. I was fucking hungry.
He's so old his birth certificate has roman numerals... what the hell?
When Moses parted the red sea, guess who was on the other side fishing?
He remembers life before the ice age.
He knows what the greatest thing was before sliced bread... -
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