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You might be a redneck if...


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INDIANAPOLIS -- A 5-year-old girl was seriously injured Sunday afternoon when a makeshift, truck-pulled "sled" she was riding hit a tree in north-central Indiana's Carroll County, authorities said.


The girl was on what investigators believe to be a car hood that was attached by a rope to a pickup truck. The truck, driven by the fiance of the girl's mother, was moving in circles on a property near County Road 1200 North, pulling the car hood behind it, according to Carroll County sheriff's Deputy Mark Back. <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 align=right border=0><TBODY><TR><TD></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

The girl, who lives in Carroll County, suffered a head injury when the makeshift sled hit a tree. She was taken to a Fort Wayne hospital and was listed in critical condition Monday, Back said.

The names of the girl and the driver were not released.

Back said he doesn't believe the driver will face charges, but the determination will be made by the county prosecutor's office.
Fair and balanced positive redneck news...

Still rednecks, but still my heros... :biggrin:


ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- \When two men walked into a popular country store outside Atlanta, announced a holdup and fired a shot, owners Bobby and Gloria Doster never hesitated. The pair pulled out their own pistols and opened fire.

The armed suspect and his partner were killed. The Dosters won't be charged, according to local officials, because they were acting in self-defense.

"I just started shooting," said Gloria Doster, 56. "I was trying to blow his brains out is what I was trying to do."

Shoats Grocery & Package near Crawford, 70 miles east of Atlanta, is a well-known spot where locals stop for breakfast biscuits or lunch. Gloria Doster said the two men who came there Monday had something else in mind.

She was rearranging boxes of soda by the store's front door when a man wearing a wig walked inside, the fake hair draped in front of his face.

"I asked him, 'Can you see to walk?"' Doster said. Then she noticed a second man behind him wearing a mask. He announced a holdup.

One man grabbed Gloria Doster and pushed her toward the register. She said the other kept his gun on her 62-year-old husband, who also goes by the name Shoats.

She said she tried to open the register, but one of the men told her she wasn't moving fast enough and tried to shoot her husband. He missed -- and his gun jammed.

At that point, Bobby Doster pulled out a .380-caliber handgun and shot one of the suspects. Gloria Doster then went for a 9 mm pistol she keeps near the register.

"All hell broke loose," she said. "I was trying to shoot and dial 911 at the same time."

Both suspects took cover behind the store's meat counter as the Dosters opened fire. Gloria Doster said she doesn't know how many bullets were fired, or how many times the suspects were hit.

Police arrived about five minutes after receiving Gloria Doster's call; the suspects died a short time later at a hospital.

The bloodshed, nevertheless, startled Gloria Doster, who has been around guns all her life, and has used them for target shooting. "But I never figured I'd have to use them on anybody," she said.

She said the worst thing that's happened in the seven years the couple has owned the store was an after-hours break-in by teenagers three years ago. The burglars were promptly arrested.
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I love the calling 911 at the same time part:

911: 911, do you have an emergency?

Doster: Well, we did but, BANG-BANG, I think we've got in under, BANG, control. There he goes, baby, pop that bastard.

911: Ma'am, is that shooting in the background? Are you alright?

Doster: Weez jus' cappin' some damn fools who came in he'uh an was fixin to rob us an tried ta shoot my baby. Oh, but we got dey ass, now. BANG, BLAM (.308), BLAM.

911: Ma'am, we're sending patrol units over right away.

Doster: Don't bother. What y'all need ta be sendin is a ambalence fo deese boys. BANG. Gott'em, the fuckers.
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