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Women Are Nuts

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Just saw this thread and wanted to say hi.

captainobvious.jpg
 
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If you've ever owned an old British sport car you have an idea of what living with a woman full time is like. You love it's looks, it's smell, but it's a pain in the ass to keep running!
But Oh! those days when it is running right! :lol:
 
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A man in his mid forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.
The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
?There?s no way they can catch a BMW,? he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, then 100, and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn?t run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. ?It?s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it?s Friday the 13th. I don?t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven?t heard before, you can go.?
The guy thinks for a second and says, ?Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.?
 
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What's the ideal breakfast setting?
You're sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box,
your mistress is on the cover of Playboy,
and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.
 
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