Why you should never trust children...

[Muck]

...they are evil incarnate.

Benny came to the birthday party because his mom had volunteered him to help supervise the children. He must have felt out of place being the lone teenage boy amidst a flock of over-excited six-year-old girls, but we welcomed his presence. We saw him as a sort of prop that we could manipulate in our imaginary games - a living, breathing human that would submit to pretending to be whatever we wanted it to pretend to be. On that particular day, we wanted to play a game called "wolf pack" which we had invented after watching a documentary about the hunting tactics of wolves.

We swarmed Benny as he was preparing to pour himself a glass of apple juice.

As a 13-year-old boy, Benny probably did not relish the idea of wasting an entire day entertaining us. But he was a good-natured young man, and he had agreed to help keep us out of trouble, so he reluctantly asked us what we wanted to play.

Us: "Wolf pack!"

Benny: "How do you play 'wolf pack'?"

Us: "We're the wolves and you're the deer. We close our eyes and count to twenty and you run away. Then we try to find you and catch you!"

Benny: "Okay. Where do you want to play?"

Us: "In the forest!"

Benny followed us outside and we led him deep into the vast expanse of backwoods wilderness that was to be our playing field. We reached a small clearing and decided to start the game there. We yelled at Benny, "Now run away!"

And we began to count.

Benny scurried off into the forest, calling out behind himself to help make the game easier for us. He thought we would have trouble finding and catching him.

What Benny did not know was that we were incredibly serious about the realistic aspects of "wolf pack." In our wildly vivid imaginations, we were actually wolves and Benny was actually a deer.

​

We found him almost immediately.

Be sure to read the rest of the story .... there's cake at the end!!

Wolves

 

[Jake]

 

[Gatorubet]

You're damn right. Left unwatched and unchained the little bastards will get into anything.
You ever go to your refrigerator and find out the door had not been closed properly by some
little bastard and your beer was warm??

Won't happen twice. We can learn from the Chinese. They make all of the toys now, so you know they know about kids...