DubCoffman62
Lazy Slob
Just got back from Walmart, what a nightmare from beginning to end. It actually started off auspiciously. There was parking space empty right up front next to the handicap spot. It all went downhill from there. As I was pulling into the spot a car passed behind me and honked. I didn't pay much attention, I answered a text and got out of my truck. As I started walking towards the entrance some fat woman with a double strap-on chin starts screaming at me "What's wrong with you? You're young and healthy! Why did you take that spot, there's others that aren't in any condition to walk in from the back of the parking lot!". I could've said a lot but I ignored her and entered the store. I want to make pot roast tomorrow and so I'm in the meat section and every chuck roast they have out looked very sub par. I decided to ask someone if there were any more in the back that I could look at. After waiting for about 5 minutes this dude arrives with three, two shitty one and one beaut. I grab the nice one, get my carrots, onion, potatoes and celery and head to check out. There were two long lines and one short one. Of course I hit the short one. As I arrived the cashier, an older overweight women was finishing up with the customer in front of me and chatting with her. I politely waited. The chat then turned into a conversation, a long one at that. I'm starting to feel like Steve martin in Planes, Trains and Automobiles after he walked across the airport after his rental card wasn't in it's spot and having to wait as the woman talked on the phone. The customer finally leaves and right as she starts checking me out a manager comes over to talk to her about something and starts getting defensive and arguing with her. This went one for about a minute, she finally finished, I pay, I go home. I get home and start putting the groceries away and there's no chuck roast, I left on their little bagging carousel. I shout an expletive, get back into my truck and head back to Walmart. As I pulled into the parking lot there was a van taking it's time backing out of it's space, I had plenty of room, I went behind her. I get another 'honk!'. I get out and start heading back into the store and some old broad with a Brooklyn accent starts cussing me out. Without stopping I turned around and yelled back 'why don't you go back to Brooklyn you old witch!' and kept going. As I walk in I notice that the cashier that helped me was no longer on duty. I then walk down to customer service where they keep the baskets fulls of goods to put back on the shelf. There was a line but I didn't wait, I walked right in and asked "did someone bring a chuck roast in here?" An old battleaxe tells me "yeah, I already put it back on the shelf'. I say 'what?' I was gone 5 minutes, I paid 15 bucks for that roast, couldn't you have waited a few minutes longer?'. I go back to the meat section and the fucker isn't there. I go back and ask again 'you say you put it out already? I don't see it'. She tells me 'well someone else must've taken it, get another one'. I tell her that I hand picked that one and the others are shitty, I don't want them, just give me my money back. They agreed, luckily I had my receipt, but I had to go the back of the line and wait ten fucking minutes. When I finally got back home, with a shaking hand I poured me about a 6 oz shot of tequila.
