Season 2
Welcome.
Last we met, Karen was leaping into the back of Hank’s Porsche. A Palisades sunset at their backs. The promise of a second chance ahead of them. As we froze frame and faded to black…
So much has happened since.
The writers struck. And thanks in no small part to our Strike Captain (and new mom) Daisy Gardner, they prevailed. Kind of.
David Duchovny beat out Alec Baldwin, Steve Carell, Ricky Gervais & Lee Pace (that’s right, people -- Lee f***in’ Pace) to bring home our first Golden Globe.
Tom Kapinos welcomed two new writers to the fold. Jay Dyer and Gabe Roth. They join Gina Fattore and the aforementioned Strike Captain to form the most sexually experienced room in pay cable.
And Metz and his grandparents double dated the s*** out of the mid-level O.C. chain restaurant scene. Granddaughters were defiled outside the Cocos parking lot. Innocence was lost in many a P.F. Chang's bathroom.
This was a long, lingering hiatus. But just before the crushing depression of not working for so many months could reach its ugly, natural, bloody end…
The writers’ room reopened. In late February. Praise Jesus.
After a few days of obligatory reacquainting, s***-talking, and pretzel-gorging, we got down to the dirty business of making television. Tom gave relatively painless manbirth to many new threads, arcs and characters. And soon enough, the writers were imagining what now looks to be an incredibly strong – and funny -- Season Two.
There’s a magic to those first few weeks of pre-production. The offices all to ourselves. The whole season comprised of nothing but little interconnected kernels of thought. Everything in a vacuum. No producers to deem your set piece unfeasible. No actors reluctant to appear bottomless on PCH. It’s a neurotic writer’s wet dream. All you have to do is think and riff. And eat expensive sandwiches. It’s hard out there…
And then production rolls around. And the dream bursts. The vacuum’s unsealed. But you’re also reminded of how immensely talented the cast and crew are. One of the coolest things about production – in addition to seeing David, Natascha, Evan, Pamela, Madeleine & Madeline bring the page to life – is watching how each department approaches the latest script. How they analyze the teleplays through their own trained, hyper-specific lenses.
Let’s say Tom’s pitching a joke in the room. And comes up with a set-piece in which a minor character exposes himself (Hint – watch Episode 2). To the room, it’s a funny, one-off joke that takes up a single line of scene description. A little parfait of a d*** gag.
To Felicia, our casting director, it’s a big bowl of uncertainty. Are we doing full-frontal? What’s more important, the quality of the actor or the aesthetic of his member? Is it okay if he’s a little undersized? I know this amazing guy -- but he’s got a little bit of English to his shaft…Should we audition porn stars or only actors? Do you have a preference in terms of hue? What about a nice medium-brown cappuccino?
And that’s before Kapinos can explain that it doesn’t matter. We’re using a prosthesis.
At which point Skip, our Prop Master, starts annotating his script like he’s Tracy Flick the night before a final. How big does this manprop need to be? Flaccid or hard? Wait, both? So you’re saying we need two fake units? This changes everything. Does the prop need to be able to achieve...full release? In which case, I’m going to need my guys to build an entire penis rig. And we’re gonna need like a table to hide the guy who steps on the bladder. I’ll talk to Set Dressing.
And this is before Camera, Make-up, Costumes and Sound all dissect the script – utilizing their unique expertise to bring that random funny thought Tom had – that wonderful little c*** – to life.
We’re only three episodes in, but it’s amazing to see how streamlined all of these departments have become. Everyone’s in a sophomore year groove. Hitting the ground running. Kapinos and Duchovny respectively wrote and directed the f*** out of the season opener.
You guys have an exciting season awaiting you. And until we air, please inundate me with any and all questions about the show. No query’s too long or too lame. And while I can’t give away any major story threads, I’m not above a strategic leak or two. We’re even posting photos from the set. Which means you’ll have unprecedented access to teaser pics of episodes that won’t be airing for months.
So welcome back. You were truly missed. You’re the reason we all have jobs. See you next post -- and don't let the door hit you on your soon-to-be-huge ass on the way out.
