BuckShots
Banned
Buckeye Friends and Family-
<O:p
Well, what can I truly say? Other than- “We played a great game and the best team won.” Are you kidding me? That is like saying that ruptured nose capillaries belie the clarity of ones wisdom! Speaking of that-Our coaching decisions were more off balance than Ted Kennedy at a log-rolling contest, on St. Patrick’s Day, with an inner-ear infection. How do you replace a quarterback after he makes a 40yd touchdown pass in the end zone? That smells worse than a Parisian Cab Driver, getting a perm in the basement of an Asian slaughterhouse. Well, what can we do?- So, Tress lost a game, its not like he felt up his cousin in the garage that one time when I was 14. Oh God, what did I just admit…..
<O:p
Ok, now that I have all of that out on the table. This week’s opponent comes to us from the friendly confines of San Diego… The home of surfing, strippers, the San Diego Zoo and Sea World! Ahhh, Sea World- reminds me of the time when my son asked me what a blow hole was for….I’ll tell you what it’s not for- and when I do, you’ll understand why I can never go back to Sea World. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa….Let’s not pass judgment here: Strippers are people too; naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later behind the curtain of a VIP room. Besides, there's no reason to shame them, 'cause most of them are already dead inside. Wait, where the hell was I going with all of that? See what happens when the Buckeyes lose so early in the season? Ok, back to the Mighty Azteks…Let’s face it-Ohio State is not gonna lay down for some California frat boy bastards with Teva sandals, Skoal Bandits and Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henleys smoking sticky buds out of a soda can while debating the reality of the characters in the movie Point Break. No, it is not believable that Keanu Reeves aka Johnny Utah could have played QB at Ohio State and is Patrick Swayze still alive? Are you freakin’ kidding me…? The actor who said “Nobody puts Baby in the corner” as a rogue surfer? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little…
<O:p</O:pOk people- Lets shake off the 18 hour tailgate hangover from last week and prepare to help the Buckeyes run the table. There are 9 games left, a few road trips, and 5 tailgates left. We just may meet the Longhorns again in the National Championship…Ahhhh drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk. Ohio State 67- San Diego State 7. Let’s bring the wood boys.<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p
I hope to see everyone at the tailgate on Saturday. We are still located in the East Lot parking lot directly to the left of the Jessie Owens Memorial (the steel sculpture- located in front of the stadium) Look for the Brutus on the roof of a Silver Durango and a Black Expedition. Well, I better get back to curing my Stigmata. I leave you with a quote from The great Spalding Smails from Caddy Shack-“ This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.”
<O:p
Go Bucks,
Coach D.
Aka Dennis J.
<O:p
Well, what can I truly say? Other than- “We played a great game and the best team won.” Are you kidding me? That is like saying that ruptured nose capillaries belie the clarity of ones wisdom! Speaking of that-Our coaching decisions were more off balance than Ted Kennedy at a log-rolling contest, on St. Patrick’s Day, with an inner-ear infection. How do you replace a quarterback after he makes a 40yd touchdown pass in the end zone? That smells worse than a Parisian Cab Driver, getting a perm in the basement of an Asian slaughterhouse. Well, what can we do?- So, Tress lost a game, its not like he felt up his cousin in the garage that one time when I was 14. Oh God, what did I just admit…..
<O:p
Ok, now that I have all of that out on the table. This week’s opponent comes to us from the friendly confines of San Diego… The home of surfing, strippers, the San Diego Zoo and Sea World! Ahhh, Sea World- reminds me of the time when my son asked me what a blow hole was for….I’ll tell you what it’s not for- and when I do, you’ll understand why I can never go back to Sea World. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa….Let’s not pass judgment here: Strippers are people too; naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later behind the curtain of a VIP room. Besides, there's no reason to shame them, 'cause most of them are already dead inside. Wait, where the hell was I going with all of that? See what happens when the Buckeyes lose so early in the season? Ok, back to the Mighty Azteks…Let’s face it-Ohio State is not gonna lay down for some California frat boy bastards with Teva sandals, Skoal Bandits and Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henleys smoking sticky buds out of a soda can while debating the reality of the characters in the movie Point Break. No, it is not believable that Keanu Reeves aka Johnny Utah could have played QB at Ohio State and is Patrick Swayze still alive? Are you freakin’ kidding me…? The actor who said “Nobody puts Baby in the corner” as a rogue surfer? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little…
<O:p</O:pOk people- Lets shake off the 18 hour tailgate hangover from last week and prepare to help the Buckeyes run the table. There are 9 games left, a few road trips, and 5 tailgates left. We just may meet the Longhorns again in the National Championship…Ahhhh drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk. Ohio State 67- San Diego State 7. Let’s bring the wood boys.<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p
I hope to see everyone at the tailgate on Saturday. We are still located in the East Lot parking lot directly to the left of the Jessie Owens Memorial (the steel sculpture- located in front of the stadium) Look for the Brutus on the roof of a Silver Durango and a Black Expedition. Well, I better get back to curing my Stigmata. I leave you with a quote from The great Spalding Smails from Caddy Shack-“ This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.”
<O:p
Go Bucks,
Coach D.
Aka Dennis J.
Last edited: