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5. Art Modell - at least a slug to the gut
4. Joakim Noah - maybe I can rearrange his face so he's not so ugly
3. Chucky, the psychopathic serial killing doll - seriously, give me 5 minutes
2. Skip Bayless - diarrhea comes out of every orifice
1. That show on MTV, My Super Sweet 16, yeah, everybody associated with it, the parents, the producers, and especially the birthday boy or girl...
"Whaaaaaaaaaah, daddy didn't buy me a new BMW, whaaaaaaaaaah, daddy promised Kanya West, whaaaaaaaaaaaah, people aren't paying enough attention to me, and I'm not getting EVERYTHING I wanted, whaaaaaaaah"