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So I'm golfing with my boss today...

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Jake

Jake

Once a Buckeye, always a Buckeye
‘17 The Deuce Champ
Fantasy Baseball Champ
'18 The Deuce Champ
    • ...at the local country club. He finally joined this year and invited me to play a round with him this afternoon. I never played golf until after I graduated from OSU and I really don't play that often. I usually keep the ball in play but the best I shoot is in the 90s.

    Anyway, we're on the back nine when some golf carts whiz by us at the tee. Turns out it is a wedding party, heading to the bridge between the 13th and 14th hole for some pics. 13 is a par three and they're right of the green. When I miss, it's usually right and I've hit that damn bridge before (play some charity outings there each year), so I'm a bit nervous teeing it up. No problem...I stick my tee shot about 12 feet from the cup. Miss the birdie putt but tap in for a par. Good deal.

    Now we head over to the 14th tee. Again, they're on my right because the hole faces the opposite direction. It's a short par 4 so I'm hitting 5 wood off the tee. I swing, and wouldn't you know I top the damn thing and it is heading right. By the time I can yell "FORE!" it bounces off the cart path, hops up and nails a groomsman in the back of his shaved head. It skips off his noggin and ends up in the fairway, but my thoughts are on the dude I just popped in the head. He turns around...and starts laughing his ass off.

    I ended up with a 6 on the hole but I gave them a wedding day story for a lifetime. It had to hurt, but this guy was pretty stout and never let on. We get back to the clubhouse and the guys working there are riding my ass. I can't wait to go back in a few weeks for an outing. My boss loved it, and I think I'm going to get ragged on all day.

    Still, it beat the shit out of spending another afternoon in the office. :biggrin:
     
    DGADBTWSOM;1203604; said:
    You're lucky it wasn't this guy...

    YouTube - Falling Down - Golf
    Click to expand...

    I hear ya. The thought crossed my mind when he turned around. Of course, you come out in the middle of a golf course while people are playing and you assume the risk.

    Besides, it's not like I was trying to hit him. I could've aimed at him 100 times and likely missed him 99 of them. :p
     
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    I'm playing golf with my old man's buddy one day, and we were at his ball, almost out of bounds right along the back yards of the condos along number 4. He addresses the ball and hits yet another horrible slice -but - at that exact moment - a young housewife walks into her back yard, trailed by her two little kids. The kids (luckily) had not cleared side of the condo into the backyard when the ball hits her in the right leg about halfway between the ankle and knee.

    CRACK!!! You could hear a horrible sound - which turned out to be her leg fracturing. She screams and goes down like Britney Spears on a moon pie birthday cake. She is on the ground screaming, and writhing in pain, and screaming. Her two tow-headed kids of about three and five are soon screaming and crying too, as they have never seen mom act this way.

    We pull up in the cart, and from the injured Ivory Soap model housewife comes "FUCK FUCK HURT HURT AWWWWWWW FUCK FUCK (repeat)"
    Asked if she needed an ambulance she nodded, without stopping her mantra. I go in the house and call 911 and then go back to the cart, where my dad's buddy is sort of walking around looking gut-shot and muttering "damn... damn.....damn....sorry sorry....damn" The mom has stopped cursing, although the crying is still at full bore, and the kids are now both sitting next to mom, crying too.

    Just then another golf cart pulls up behind us and the guy says, "Jesus, how long are you going to look for that ball, can we play through?"
    My dad's friend points to the woman and the two kids crying about twenty feet away from us, and says "I think she broke her leg..we've called the EMS."

    The guy says before the words "EMS" leave his lips...."So we can play through then?" :slappy: Mr. Sympathy. :p
     
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    When I was in high school my best friend and I were playing with his dad and uncle. Bill had won the previous hole and was up first. His dad and uncle told him to tee it up. Bill starts protesting that the guys playing ahead of us were too close. His dad and uncle start ragging him, saying he can't hit them because he swings like a girl (which he does). So, he hauls off and crushes it, we all yell FORE! as it takes one hop and nails a dude in the leg. I don't think his dad ever told him he swung like a girl again.
     
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    Holy crap, some crazy stories. When I was younger I was playing by myself one summer morning and it was a par 4 that goes down a hill then back up, and I was walking and the 2 older guys ahead of me were on a cart. So i figured they were on the next hole. I tee'd off, next thing I know there's a cart that comes FLYING up the hill and these 2 guys start yelling at me. I was no older than 11 years old. I thought to myself...Aww Fuck it lol
     
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    I was playing at Wilson Road with my buddy back in high school, and we got paired with a guy and his son (who was probably about 10-12 years old I'd guess). Anyways, we get to the first tee box and I go first and hit a good shot down the right side of the fairway. Next up is my friend, who never claimed to be much of a golf. Wisely I walk off the of the side and walk backwards towards the putting green. Sure enough, the guy and his son pull up in the golf cart IN FRONT and to the right of my friend on the cart path. So my friend winds up and blasts the ball.... directly into the side of the guy's golf cart :slappy: . The look on his face was priceless, it was complete shock/fear, and I had to bite my cheeks to keep from laughing out loud.
     
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    A man and wife are playing golf one day. The wife hits a slice into the right rough right behind the superintendent's barn. There is an open window in the barn that is right in between them and the green. The wife asks the husband what to do. She says she should chip out. He says no way! Hit it right through that window, you'll be on in two and you can two putt for par. Well she rips a 3 wood misses the window and hits the barn. The ball ricochets back, hits the husband in the head and kills him right there!

    Two years later she is remarried and playing the same course with her new husband. She steps up on the same hole and hits a slice right behind the superintendent's barn. She goes to chip out, but her new husband says NO! hit it through the window and onto the green. She says NO WAY! Last time i tried that i made 7.
     
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