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SimPLLLLLLLe Jim "6-13" Harbaugh (B1G Suspenders McKhakiPants, Cheater Cheater Booger Eater)

I'm in. You take Bitcoin?

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Look, I don't care what any of you say, I am absolutely terrified* of Simple Jim's football and coaching prowess, to the point that they are definitely turning the corner and will finally compete for a spot as B1G East Champions^, with many excellent seasons to come. The worst thingª would be them giving him a lifetime contract. I'm shaking in my boots over here at the thought of him coaching scUM until he retires!



*of his ineptitude and issues getting him fired
^of life...in 100 years...
ª for scUM
 
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from the Ministry of Excuses game recap. Clock mismanagement is a recurring issue with the Harbrau...

The five minute drill! Michigan got the ball back down ten with 5 minutes left. They took over four of those scoring one (one) touchdown and were forced into an onside kick. Milton kept checking down. This was not entirely his fault because his protection was bad, but at some point you have to unleash the dragon, man. This more than anything else makes me think Milton is hesitant to throw deep because he keeps missing.

This continues a theme under Harbaugh: deeply incompetent clock management. They didn't screw it up last week against Minnesota, but I mean… we now know some more things about Minnesota.
 
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Their 2007 and 2011 searches showed it wasn’t nearly as attractive a job as they think it is. If Simple Jim hadn’t crazied his way out of SF, 2014 would’ve likely been a shit show, as well. Jim Harbaugh, as goofy as he is, was seen as an elite coach when they hired him. What coach is going to look at him failing there and go “yeah, sign me up for that!”? I said it before, actually, many did, if Jim Harbaugh can’t right that ship, who will? He was “the guy.” He was the alumnus former QB who played for Bo and became a successful HC. He was their “homerun hire.” And he’s failed miserably. They’re proper fucked.
Which is why I don’t care if they dump Hairball or not. He’s got them settled into a 9-3 or 9-4 pattern at this point, with a good portion of their fan base dreading the matchup when The Game comes around, but I think if they replace him it probably won’t get better. And it could possibly backfire into a couple of losing seasons.

GBYBMYMSOB

UTQTFS
 
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Which is why I don’t care if they dump Hairball or not. He’s got them settled into a 9-3 or 9-4 pattern at this point, with a good portion of their fan base dreading the matchup when The Game comes around, but I think if they replace him it probably won’t get better. And it could possibly backfire into a couple of losing seasons.

GBYBMYMSOB

UTQTFS
Same.

There are no homerun hires out there for them. In 2007 and (more so) in 2011, Jim Harbaugh was out there and none of us wanted him up there because he had all the makings of being the coach to make them dangerous. Well, they got him in 2014 and he decidedly hasn't. Who's out there now? Urban Meyer? Never happening. (Obligatory) Les Miles? The guy sucked his last 5 years in Baton Rouge and is toiling away at a dead ass program in Lawrence, KS. Fickell? I mean, maybe there's enough money to lure him up there, but success at Cincy doesn't necessarily translate to a pressure-cooker like Ann Arbor. PJ Fleck? He's currently overseeing probably the worst team in the B1G. Who else is there? Brent Venables? I read his kids are at (or going to) Clemson, so I doubt he leaves that job yet, and doubtful he does for scUM.

I don't think he's going anywhere quite yet. Even if this season absolutely implodes, I bet he gets a COVID-pass. But, if they do surprisingly move on, there's a good chance they're wading into a job pool that includes Texas and USC. There aren't really any guys out there that look like the obvious "hot young hire." They start looking for a new HC in early 2021 and odds are they end up with another Hoke-ish hire.
 
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from the Ministry of Excuses game recap. Clock mismanagement is a recurring issue with the Harbrau...
They should have realized this after the 2015 Sparty game, when Rudock took the third down snap with 57 seconds on the running clock and 10 on the play clock. They could have hiked it at 48, just run a QB sneak, and then they probably would have had 4 seconds or less after taking a delay penalty. When you run a play instead of taking a knee, there’s a couple extra seconds before the refs start up the 40-second clock. Then, after having time to talk about it, they could have just thrown a ball out of bounds 30 yards upfield over the head of a receiver running up the sideline, and no punt would have been needed.

TTUN’s record against “Little Brother” after Bike Hart made that comment following the 2007 version:

4-9.

“Pride comes before the fall.“ - Mark Dantonio
 
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Which is why I don’t care if they dump Hairball or not. He’s got them settled into a 9-3 or 9-4 pattern at this point, with a good portion of their fan base dreading the matchup when The Game comes around, but I think if they replace him it probably won’t get better. And it could possibly backfire into a couple of losing seasons.

GBYBMYMSOB

UTQTFS
Can you think of a time when a coaching change didn't wipe out a recruiting class? I can think of two: 1. Fick worked hard to keep the 2010/2011 class 2. Day worked his ass off to save the class Urbs had recruited in 2018/2019. Hairball is the perfect example of what usually happens - his best year came with Hoke's recruits, but his own first class was a weak one at best.
 
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