Friday, September 30, 2005
Pigskin picks
Time to dump that trash talk 'cause the winner will be ...
By Bob Wojnowski / The Detroit News
Bob Wojnowski
Well, well. It appears we have a fascinating little twist to our favorite instate rivalry the rest of the nation largely ignores.
Perhaps you've noticed. Oh, yes, those are Michigan State fans strutting around this week, sweaters cinched tightly around the neck, already planning their New Year's Day bowl trip, leasing BMWs and signing up for wine-appreciation courses. (Uh, sure, you can get chardonnay in a keg.)
And oh, my goodness, are those really Michigan fans, suddenly obsessed with spoiling Michigan State's season and hoping to salvage their own by pulling the shocking upset? Woo-wee, the cows are tipping and the couches are burning in Ann Arbor this year as we're experiencing the strangest role reversal since those arrogant Duke brothers tricked insecure Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy in "Trading Places."
Michigan State is 4-0 and ranked 11th, and so sure of itself, it prepared for Saturday's "showdown" in East Lansing by practicing run-up-the-score plays in a 61-14 squeaker against Illinois last weekend.
Michigan is a sparkling 2-0 in the Mid-American Conference but 2-2 and unranked overall, which has its fans nervously investigating such holiday travel hot spots as "El Paso" and "Detroit." School officials even took the drastic step this week of ordering unlisted phone numbers for the football office, in case Motor City Bowl reps tried to call.
This just doesn't seem natural. But you know what? Maybe it's healthy, forcing each to see how the other side lives.
Michigan State hasn't had the pressure of being favored against Michigan since about 1966, back when the Spartans were the pompous power and most people at Michigan were more concerned with peace, love and hallucinogenics than being -- cough, cough -- 2-3.
After that, we followed a fairly predictable pattern of Michigan success for three-plus decades that, admittedly, got boring at times. But the stereotypes were harmless and well-earned, and everyone knew their roles. In case you forgot, here's a quick recap:
Q: How many Michigan grads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change the bulb, one to whine about the officiating, and the other two to reminisce about how Bo would have changed the bulb.
Q: How many MSU grads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change the bulb and two to talk about how they could have gotten into Michigan and changed the bulb but, you know, they really wanted to go to Michigan State because of its animal husbandry program.
See? Simple, easy. Arrogance. Insecurity.
But then coach John WWWW. Smith brought his boots and wacky personality to East Lansing three years ago and things began to change. The Spartans play with flair and fun, passing the ball around as if it were a beer bong at a frat party. They score tons of points, stick school flags in strange places (like the middle of Notre Dame's field) and defy anyone to remind them they haven't won a Big Ten title since the Coolidge Administration.
The Wolverines, meanwhile, inexplicably started playing with the calm precision of FEMA officials, while displaying the enthusiasm and creativity of teenage grocery baggers.
Over the years, no matter the circumstances, you generally could count on order being restored. Even under WWLloyd Carr, considered by some rabidly astute Michigan fans to be a solid leader of men when he's not busy driving the program straight into the dirt, the Wolverines are 7-3 against the Spartans.
So, you can understand why the entire state is in utter confusion right now. You hear MSU players fretting about overconfidence while their fans hotly debate whether the Spartans will win 63-10, or completely fall apart and win 56-10.
Then you see Michigan players lower their eyes and shift their feet and mumble about their backs being against the wall. The only props missing are the blindfolds and cigarettes.
Listen. I'm not saying this reversal is long-lasting, that Michigan State is suddenly going to get snooty and win all the football games, and Michigan is suddenly going to get insecure and win all the basketball games. I'm just saying I heard Michigan State fans added chilled shrimp and mimosas to the menu for Saturday's tailgate, at which they'll discuss whether Smith, with all of those great recruiting classes, should be fired if he doesn't win back-to-back national titles. Secondary topic: Should Spartan Stadium's capacity be raised to 112,001?
Yikes. We don't want each school adopting the worst qualities of the other, do we? I even sensed Smith turning as tight as Carr's esophagus when he uncharacteristically shut down interviews after Monday.
Next thing you know, Carr will gripe he doesn't get enough media attention, stuck in Michigan State's shadow. Then he'll assume Smith's persona and show up for press conferences in a flowered shirt and boots, shouting things like, "Hoot-Diggedy-Dang, this week we'll find out if we're worth a pound of deep-fried corn fritters!"
I'm not sure if this role reversal is real or just some bizarre social experiment, like what the Dukes did to Aykroyd and Murphy. But maybe we should have seen it coming. The Spartans did lead 27-10 last year before Braylon Edwards showed up, helping the Wolverines grab a 45-37 triple-overtime game they absolutely knew they were gonna win the moment they rose up, stared down adversity and realized Michigan State super-QB Drew Stanton was injured.
No Braylon, no bragging. With Drew, it's all new. Maybe the Wolverines need a humbling. Maybe the Spartans need a breather. After all, everyone knows Michigan State's true rivalry game is in two weeks. At Ohio State, of course.
Pick: Michigan State 30-23.
Pigskin picks; You can reach Bob Wojnowski at
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