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Reds Tidbits (2012 Season)

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The speeding part is not a concern so much. The suspended license for a guy with $30 million dollars is. Unless he isn't allowed to have a new license for some reason, such as being Cuban or some other such shit. And, if you have a suspended license, don't fucking speed! (Not driving at all is just too unreasonable a thing to ask. s/f)


On a game day no less. Hire someone else to bring you your shit man! Matter of fact, put me on the payroll baby!!!! :pimp:
 
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On the "nothing good happens to professional athletes after 10pm" scale, 1 being stay at home and have milk&cookies-10 being go hang out with PacMan Jones, this is about a 3.

Near as we can tell at this point there were no drugs, no booze, no guns, no cop beatings, no hookers (dead or otherwise-which means Craig James and ESPN won't be involved), no rhythmic slapping sounds, no known pedophiles in the mughshot with him, no discounted tattoos, no bounty program and no intern on a scissor lift filming the whole thing in a 70mph wind.

So, moral of the story is..... if you are going to go drive a white Lamborghini 100 mph after midnight in Ohio, this is about as benign an outcome as one could expect. Get a caddy, forget the curveball and throw 'em the heater.
 
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Heading to the game tonight. I know Latos is starting tonight and what that means for the Reds chances, but after looking at the weather I can't pass this up. There won't be many more evenings like this. I figure as long as I'm going to pay money to watch the Reds get their teeth kicked in, I may as well do it on a night where I won't have a sweaty nutsack for three hours.
 
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jlb1705;2157839; said:
Heading to the game tonight. I know Latos is starting tonight and what that means for the Reds chances, but after looking at the weather I can't pass this up. There won't be many more evenings like this. I figure as long as I'm going to pay money to watch the Reds get their teeth kicked in, I may as well do it on a night where I won't have a sweaty nutsack for three hours.
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Another positive is that you will most likely see one hell of a pitching performance from Beachy.

He's 3-0 with a 1.27 ERA in his last 3 starts (@COL, @St.Louis, Mia) and throws with his right hand which the Reds as a team are hitting .211 off of this year at home.
 
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Not sure how many of you guys read BP but this article (free) is gold Jerry, comedy gold.

Pebble Hunting

Baseball and the F Word

by Sam Miller

When I moved up from the 11-and-12 league to 13-and-14, there was a 14-year-old kid named Andrade who had grown himself a pretty good mustache. He caught, and whenever a pitch would get past him, he would yell ?F***? as he turned to retrieve the pitch. The first time I heard this, I was shocked, and almost embarrassed. I?d used my share of swears, but never like this, in front of grown-ups. I had no idea that swearing was possible on a baseball field.
Of course, swearing is very possible on a baseball field. Perhaps going back to 1898, major-league baseball has been a place where profanity has thrived. On-field microphones rarely pick up the audio (except in Boston, I've found), but the cameras are careful to catch foul lips in high definition. ?Well, if you can read lips,? the announcers sometimes will say. ?Hey you can?t say that you?re outta here,? the umpires sometimes will say. Mostly, though, we just move on and don?t talk about it. Let?s talk about it. Why not? We might as well talk about it. What follows is a taxonomy of 13 major-league F-bombs. NSFW? I honestly don't know...............
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The Bobby Wilson one killed me
 
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Jaxbuck;2157801; said:
I'm going to go out on a limb and say looking for some of the things we all used to stay out late at night looking for when we were his age.








It's on the tee, do me proud BP.
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Wait a minute. What is that stuff. We used to eat it all the time back in the day....................pussy!

The bigger question is there are not enough hot jock sniffing gold diggers in the Cincy metro area? Or did Aroldis already run though them all and is working his way across the state? Inquiring minds want to know.
 
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Ok in an effort to keep this a more lively baseball thread I give you my daily musings. The first thing you have to do when there is a problem is define it so I looked at the team by wOBA by position.

wOBA primer for those unfamiliar.

Using Fangraphs 2011 wOBA position averages

2011-wOBA-by-Position.png
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Reds
1B Votto/.441
RF Bruce/.373
C Hanigan/.350
3B Frazier/.340
ss Cozart/.308
CF Stubbs/.302
2B Phillips/.290
LF Ludwick&Heisey both/.289

The bench in order all below .250 Cairo, Mesoraco, Rolen, Valdez

-Soooo I was surprised to see that given the overall weakness of 3B in baseball Frazier isn't the smoking hole in the earth of suck I thought he was.

-Cozart is acquitting himself quite well for a rookie.
-One hopes Phillips unfucks himself at some point this year because as of right now you have to put him solidly in the under performing category, which leads of course to the hard core under performers....
-Stubbs. Oh how I despise thee.
-Ludwick/Heisey or for ease of typing from here on out Luhsey (no offense to any woman out there, especially the peanuts character Lucy who would all probably be better baseball players than the two headed Reds monster of Luhsey)
-Rolen and the bench.....your level of suck is profound but I don't blame you for sucking. Thats what sucky players do. I blame the cockhole who thought having you on the team might be a good idea.

I'll two part this thing and give some ideas on how to overcome Stubbs, Luhsey and the bench.
 
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Its been kicked around at RZ a lot but I'm a fan of going after Denard Span.

Stubbs is younger and cheaper but he also sucks donkey cock.

The twinkies are in penny pinching mode and Span will cost you about 12MM over the rest of 12 through the end of '14 and has a 500K club option for '15.

So for about 3MM a year you can have a good CF who can hit lead off or you can have Drew Stubbs for league minimum.

So my blockbuster trade that will never happen;

Stubbs, Leake and Ludwick to Minny for Span, Willingham and Glen Perkins. Reds take on the contract imbalance. You then have a legit lefty bullpen arm in Perkins and move Chapman to the rotation. Willingham and Span fix the OF like nobodies business.

Not sure if the Reds can take on that much $$ but other than that it would sure be nice. :wink2:


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or take Willingham out of it and just trade Leake/Stubbs for Perkins/Span. You still can move Chapman to replace Leake and Span for Stubbs is a huge upgrade.

Then I go and trade Billy "he's just fast" Hamilton for a big time, young, RH power bat out in LF, keep Heisey as the 4th OF and DFA Ludwick.
 
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