1. QUARTERBACK CONTROVERSY
Love Cardale. Just love him.
Like the other one better.
2. PROPER USE OF YOUR DVR REMOTE
If you press the fast forward button and the pause button while holding your mouth just right you can get any of OSU's players to do a spin move.
3. THE DOW AND THE ZEKE
If you draw a trend line of Zeke's rushing yards in his last four games and extend it out he will have negative yards rushing against Hawaii.
4. NACHO BITCH
Turns out my gf has an Ashley Madison account.
Try the cheesehead. It is exactly what you might imagine.
5. MATCH SECTION
If two trains leave Alabama and Columbus at the same time and the train from Columbus commits seven turnovers while outscoring its opponents by 40 points how long before the train from Alabama starts looking for the nearest siding?
6. QUOTE OF THE GAME
"Hit, Hit as hard as you can - you can't hurt me I''m the gingerbread man."
- Michael Brewer
Still don't understand what happened next. Doesn't EVERY team have three All American quarterbacks?
(Truth is the kid is a baller - sorry to see that happen to him.)
7. THE BAD NEWS
The best team in the country just took apart the only real team they will play for the next 10 weeks.
Unfortunately for the Rainbow Warriors (a team made up entirely of characters from Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony) we get the best player in college football back for that one. We also get three new offensive weapons we so sorely missed in racking up 572 yards against a defense that will have a hard time reminding themselves they are one of the best in the nation for some time to come.
And it keeps on that way.
We get to drive our brand new Lamborghini down 25 mph streets. No hairpin turns. No wide open straight-aways. Only what feels like the occasional pot hole but in fact is the form of another hapless victim who never had a chance.
All that anticipation for 8 months and not much to anticipate until November. Me and my two year old grandson playing basketball on the big hoop back when I still had knees. (I NEVER let him rebound and taunted him constantly).
Savor last night and get ready for a stretch of playing Madden with the competition level set on beginner. (And BTW - you can't do that spin move in Madden.)
8. THIS TEAM HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE THE BEST OSU TEAM EVER.
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