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One Giant Tibor Cesspool Merge

scarletandgrey said:
He'd walk two miles to find his wif um.......sheep!
Reasons why Sheep are better than Women:

* Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth

* You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear

* Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather

* Cotton mouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease

* Nuttin' beats mutton

* Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel

* Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your
coke, and then tell you they have to be home early

* Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down

* Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed
off when you tell them

* No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a
willing ewe

* Sheep are never concerned about their reputation

* Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time you couldn't
get it up

* Sheep won't ask if you're gay the first time you can't get it
up for the second time

* Sheep never insist on eating out

* You'll never catch your sheep masturbating to a picture of Mel
Gibson

* Sheep don't get suspicious if you have to work late

* Sheep don't smell like tuna fish

* Sheep don't get moody once a month

* You can eat a lamb chop without getting wool stuck in your
teeth

* A sheep doesn't expect you to support her for the rest of her
life after one roll in the hay

* A sheep never wears curlers and a mud pack to bed

* A sheep doesn't stop screwing after the honeymoon

* A sheep won't get drunk and throw up in your car

* A sheep won't think that a weekend stay-over entitles her to
rearrange your furniture and put up new curtains

* A sheep won't expect you to pay...and pay...and pay...and pay

* A sheep will never complain about the spittoon in your pickup

* A sheep will never throw out your old copies of Playboy

* A sheep won't care of you keep your fish bait in the
refrigerator

* A sheep won't get even with you by spending your paycheck on
new clothes, none of which are see-through or meant to be worn
in the bedroom

* A sheep will never sue you for alimony

* A sheep won't care if you screw her sister

* A sheep won't care if your secretary is better looking than
she is

* A sheep will never tell you the ceiling needs to be painted
while you're screwing

* A sheep won't use your razor to shave it's legs, or your
pocketknife to open a paint can

* Sheep never have a headache

* A sheep won't give your favorite hunting shirt to Goodwill

* A sheep won't leave wet nylons hanging all over the bathroom

* A sheep will never ask you to stop on the way home from work
and pick up a box of tampons

* Sheep grow their own fur coats

* A sheep will never leave a vibrator on the living room couch
when you're having friends over to watch football

* Sheep won't cheat on you with your best friend

* A sheep will never ask if you'll still respect her in the
morning

* Sheep aren't into talking before or after sex

* A sheep never yells at you for leaving the lid up

* A sheep won't send you out for batteries for her vibrator

* A sheep doesn't think it's demeaning or kinky to do it doggy
style

* A sheep won't mind if you put up mirrors in the bedroom

* Sheep are "ram tough"

* A sheep won't think your cheap and tacky if you: send daisies
instead of long-stemmed red roses, tip less than 20%, wear
levis with a hole in the seat, open beer bottles with your
teeth

* Sheep don't mind if you leave the lights on

* Sheep don't mind doing it in the morning

* Sheep don't mind doing it in a pickup truck

* A sheep will never use the excuse that: she just did her
nails, its too hot, its too cold, you'll wake the kids, you'll
wake the neighbors, she's too drunk to enjoy it, she's not
drunk enough to enjoy it

* A sheep will never turn up being your long lost cousin

* Wool burn is better than carpet burn

* Sheep will always love ewe

* Sheep don't care about the size of your penis, since they're
all white

* Sex with a sheep is never baaaaaad

* and last but not least:
A SHEEP WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU FOR A CUCUMBER
 
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