CLARETT, WILLIAMS CAUGHT ENTERING NFL DRAFT WITH FAKE ID’S
A day after Maurice Clarett and Mike Williams were barred from the NFL draft by a federal appeals court, the two NFL hopefuls were busted trying to get into the NFL using fake drivers’ licenses. Clarett, aka “Hank Foreman,” was caught at the entrance to NFL headquarters when a suspicious security guard questioned him about information on his ID. “He [Clarett] couldn’t even remember his own address. Look, if you’re going to use a fake, do us all a favor and at least memorize your birth date and home address. It’s not that hard. I didn’t really buy that he was 6-2, 180 either. The guy [Clarett] is built like a bowling ball. I wasn’t born yesterday.”
Williams made it past security all the way to the commissioner’s office. There, however, “Mitch Walker” of 4368 Indiana Blvd. in Sheboygan, WI was revealed as Williams when the fake mustache he was wearing came unglued as he filled out the paperwork to enter the draft. “That fake mustache made him look like a porn star,” said Paul Tagliabue, “so when it fell off I wasn’t too surprised to see Mike. He also claimed he was 21 years old, but the guy in the picture on his ID was at least 40. Mikey’s a good kid who made a mistake, so I just confiscated his fake.” Tagliabue said that he will likely tighten security at the draft by hiring two bouncers at each door and carding everyone who appears to be 30 years old or younger.
