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New Terrorist Threat -- Al Gebra


I give up. This board is too hard to understand.
New Terrorist Threat -- Al Gebra

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is
being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y"
and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes.

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is
intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to
disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to
inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding:
"Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our
point, and draw the line."

President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the
potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before
seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in
random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my
ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they
continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens
around their necks."
My grammatical blunders....


You have me! I am indeed guilty of heinous gramatical high crimes! :biggrin: My crimes were aggravated by an obstinate refusal to check my posted message for correct grammar. My haste to post a congratulatory sentiment for the marvelous literary craftsmanship exhibited in the "Al-Gebra" article was my undoing. My manifest guilt was deepened by a further refusal to recognize my abhorrent sentence construction after repeatedly viewing the offending message. On this count I plea that sleep deprivation is a mitigating factor. :biggrin: So I ask the members of the jury to pardon me, excuse this faux pas, and please do not banish me from the domains of Buckeyedom. :oh: :io:

Your humble ambassador from the Cougar Nation,

TSKCoug :cheers:
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Okay.....dude.....this kind of crap seems to happen to me a lot whenever I make a joke, so apparently I'm not doing it right. So for the record, I didn't say you were a blithering idiot with no command of the English language. In fact, I was pretty positive your grammar mistake was a typo when I originally made the joke. But I hope we can all grasp the irony in a grammar typo contained in a sentence that says one is planning on attempting to re-elect George W. Bush. Tremendously eloquent post, albeit unnecessary if you were attempting to prove any kind of a point to me as to your grammatical abilities or vocabulary. :biggrin:
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I can not believe you would post something like that... if you're going to make a joke, make it funny...

just ribbin' ya (hey, old timers from the BN board remember when everybody got ribbed for just about anything they posted... some of those ribs were real funny stuff... just remembering the past... sorry... don't get all fired up again about the way "BN used to be")...
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BuckNutty said:
Making friends again I see, BuckDog :lol:

Qué el infierno, hombre? Geez. :lol: I must be the Grand High Jackass or something, why haven't you ever clued me in on that? :lol:

gbearbuck said:
hey, old timers from the BN board remember when everybody got ribbed for just about anything they posted... some of those ribs were real funny stuff... just remembering the past... sorry... don't get all fired up again about the way "BN used to be"

gbear: I'm not an old-timer, but I guess I would've liked those days better 'cause I like to mess with people in good fun but all I ever seem to get for doing it is bitched at by people who apparently want to take me out to the cyber-parking lot or something. :lol: From now on, el silencio es dorado para mi. :biggrin:
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