I can recall taking some pretty easy classes when I was in undergrad. Fortunately, SI never put me on the cover... mostly 'cause I didn't have to deal with any jinx
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Now everyone, we ought to help a Domer out here. Our own Encouragement team, if you will. NDC can lead the team and teach him how to keep his cool. Thump gets grammar, High Lonesome is in charge of spelling, Mili will handle etiquette, and I'll coach drinking and creative profanity. Plan? :p
Then you should damn well know that it's Marines.
Obviously he smashed his CAPS LOCK button in a fit of rage...