CC Sabathia and the painful but all-too-relatable path to sobriety
There have been many thousands of words used to describe what life feels like for an addict at the very bottom. But perhaps none captures the last days of active addiction quite like one particular phrase from recovery literature:
pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
No checklist exists for what that entails. There are no minimums or maximums on DUIs, or divorces, or overdoses. It can be three of each, or none of the above. It just has to be the most broken a person has ever felt.
In CC Sabathia's new documentary, "Under the Grapefruit Tree" (streaming now on HBO Max), he describes the obvious low point of his alcoholism: bowing out of the 2015 season to go to rehab in early October, just as his team, the Yankees, was wrapping up its final series of the season in Baltimore before starting its playoff run a few days later.
He received widespread support from his teammates and the organization, but you can imagine how some people responded. "Dock Ellis can throw no-nos tripping balls back in the day yet CC Sabathia can't pitch in the playoffs hungover? Remember when men were men?" one Barstool contributor tweeted.
He went to rehab anyway, and it just may have saved his life. "You'll feel bad now," his friend, fellow pitcher Chris Young, told him. "But you'll come out of rehab a hero."
But pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization isn't simple. It's not just one decision, or one moment. It's often a string of crumbs leading to the ultimate realization that an addict has only two choices, pain or sobriety, in front of them. The announcement stung. But Sabathia's true bottom may have actually been a few hours after he told the world his deepest secret with a news release.
As he drove home from Baltimore to pack for rehab, he knew friends, family and his agent had gathered at his house to see him off. Not everybody loved the decision. Some thought maybe he should have just hung on until after the season, just a few more weeks, then sought treatment.
It wasn't that anybody thought he didn't have a problem. As good as Sabathia was at hiding his alcoholism, everybody around him had at least a few data points over the years to support the idea that the 35-year-old had a problem. Some just thought maybe it could wait a week or two?
Entire article:
https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/30795672/cc-sabathia-painful-all-too-relatable-path-sobriety