wolfamngstsheep
All-American
By Tony Kornheiser
Wednesday, May 5, 2004; Page D01
Our first question today comes from Mr. E. Zegna, who writes, "I saw that photo in the paper of the Redskins' No. 1 draft choice, Sean Taylor, with his shorts falling off his behind. And I read where he said, 'I wear my clothes like that.' Really? Who designs his clothing, anyway?"
At the moment it appears Sean Taylor has a clothing deal with a tent company. Some guys like their shorts loose. Mr. Taylor apparently likes his shorts off. It saves so much wear and tear on the fabric when your stuff just falls to the ground and you pick it up later -- like a penalty flag. During minicamp, Mr. Taylor once jumped to deflect a pass with one hand while grabbing onto his shorts to keep them up with his other hand. I've heard of being ambidextrous, but that's ridiculous. What exactly did he major in at Miami, exotic dancing? (And why does the phrase "a possible Gilbert Arenas situation" keep swirling in my head?) It's fine to say you prefer your clothing loose and baggy, but eventually Mr. Taylor will need a regulation NFL uniform. Exactly whose is he supposed to use, Jon Jansen's? Or are the Redskins going to convince Gilbert Brown to come out of retirement so Sean Taylor can have something appropriate to wear?
Our next question comes from Mr. L. Coker, who writes, "Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled the Redskins took Sean Taylor. But I thought the Redskins were going to draft his teammate, Kellen Winslow Jr.?"
Apparently, so did Mr. Winslow. When he wasn't drafted by the Redskins, Mr. Winslow called Joe Gibbs a liar, and vowed that the Redskins "will pay" for not drafting him. Well, if that accurately reflects Mr. Winslow's level of maturity, the Redskins should pat themselves on the back for avoiding this spoiled brat. Imagine if you're the Cleveland Browns, and after you draft this dope he spends most of his news conference talking about the Washington Redskins? Earth to Kellen, we're trying to sell tickets to folks in Shaker Heights, not Marlow Heights.
What is it with tight ends from Miami? First, there's world-class jerk Jeremy Shockey. Next, there's his apprentice, Kellen Winslow II. If there's one sure way to get into a fight in Washington, it's by calling Joe Gibbs a liar. (Though another sure way is by getting into a mulch dispute with Wanda "Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee" Baucus, wife of the Montana senator.) After Winslow got drafted by Cleveland, his agent, one of those infamous Poston Brothers, announced that Winslow should be paid like LeBron James! Well, even if Winslow gets paid more like Etta James, Poston will probably initial every page of the contract -- and then sue the team anyway, like he has with LaVar Arrington.
Wednesday, May 5, 2004; Page D01
Our first question today comes from Mr. E. Zegna, who writes, "I saw that photo in the paper of the Redskins' No. 1 draft choice, Sean Taylor, with his shorts falling off his behind. And I read where he said, 'I wear my clothes like that.' Really? Who designs his clothing, anyway?"
At the moment it appears Sean Taylor has a clothing deal with a tent company. Some guys like their shorts loose. Mr. Taylor apparently likes his shorts off. It saves so much wear and tear on the fabric when your stuff just falls to the ground and you pick it up later -- like a penalty flag. During minicamp, Mr. Taylor once jumped to deflect a pass with one hand while grabbing onto his shorts to keep them up with his other hand. I've heard of being ambidextrous, but that's ridiculous. What exactly did he major in at Miami, exotic dancing? (And why does the phrase "a possible Gilbert Arenas situation" keep swirling in my head?) It's fine to say you prefer your clothing loose and baggy, but eventually Mr. Taylor will need a regulation NFL uniform. Exactly whose is he supposed to use, Jon Jansen's? Or are the Redskins going to convince Gilbert Brown to come out of retirement so Sean Taylor can have something appropriate to wear?
Our next question comes from Mr. L. Coker, who writes, "Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled the Redskins took Sean Taylor. But I thought the Redskins were going to draft his teammate, Kellen Winslow Jr.?"
Apparently, so did Mr. Winslow. When he wasn't drafted by the Redskins, Mr. Winslow called Joe Gibbs a liar, and vowed that the Redskins "will pay" for not drafting him. Well, if that accurately reflects Mr. Winslow's level of maturity, the Redskins should pat themselves on the back for avoiding this spoiled brat. Imagine if you're the Cleveland Browns, and after you draft this dope he spends most of his news conference talking about the Washington Redskins? Earth to Kellen, we're trying to sell tickets to folks in Shaker Heights, not Marlow Heights.
What is it with tight ends from Miami? First, there's world-class jerk Jeremy Shockey. Next, there's his apprentice, Kellen Winslow II. If there's one sure way to get into a fight in Washington, it's by calling Joe Gibbs a liar. (Though another sure way is by getting into a mulch dispute with Wanda "Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee" Baucus, wife of the Montana senator.) After Winslow got drafted by Cleveland, his agent, one of those infamous Poston Brothers, announced that Winslow should be paid like LeBron James! Well, even if Winslow gets paid more like Etta James, Poston will probably initial every page of the contract -- and then sue the team anyway, like he has with LaVar Arrington.
:susp: 
:osu3: :osu2:
