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Jameis Winston (QB Browns)

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Horny, Crabby, Gabby...and Suspended.

What they said:
Based upon the results of our continuing investigation of Tuesday's incident involving Jameis Winston, we have decided to not play him for the entire game against Clemson on Saturday night," interim Florida State president Garnett S. Stokes and athletic director Stan Wilcox said in a joint statement.
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What they meant: After everyone in the world with functioning synapses piled on us for soft-pedaling yet another incident with our coddled star idiot/athlete, we have caved and suspended him.
 
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Unfortunately for Jameis the interim Florida State president Garnett S. Stokes happens to be a female. I will also guess that

1) this was her doing and not initiated by the Athletic Director.
2) she is concerned about the ongoing Title IX investigation at FSU and the schools image (i.e. public perception)
3) she wants to appear tough when it comes to upholding FSU's moral codes of conduct, and above all
4) she wants to look like she has everything under control so she eventually gets the "interim" tag removed.


stokes_new.jpg
 
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lvbuckeye said:
Does Lyme disease make to go to Bonnaroo and eat too much Molly and LSD?
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Well, Lyme Disease supposedly made Wyatt Sexton stand in an intersection and stop traffic while proclaiming himself the Son of God.

Then again, a friend of mine that can't handle his shit downed half a 750mL of Wild Turkey during Mardi Gras 2002 and did the same thing in NOLA. Wound up finding him three hours later in a club with a $7 dixie cup of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a stripper feeding him potato chips.
 
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Winston's apology:


"I have to tone it down." The Heisman Trophy winner gave a statement in which he added, "I just want to apologize to my university, my coaches and my teammates. I'm not a me person, but in that situation it was a selfish act. That's not how you do things. I really want to apologize to my teammates because I have now made a selfish act for them."


Note that he did not bother apologizing to women.
 
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