Spoof letters baffle and befuddle leaders <!-- END HEADLINE -->
<!-- BEGIN STORY BODY -->By Paul MajendieThu Sep 14, 9:17 AM ET
No one is safe from the ever curious Mr Morello who needs British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Arsenal Football Club and The School of Taxidermy to explain to him the mysteries of British life.
Armed with an endless list of quandaries to resolve, the bewildered Italian immigrant living in a London suburb badgers The Chief Druid, The Guild of Professional English Butlers and The Old English Goat Society.
The result is "The Morello Letters: Pen Pal to the Stars," a riotous collection of spoof missives to the great and good penned by London lawyer Duncan McNair who invented Morello -- but still has not given him a first name.
"I did get some very funny replies. Now I cannot stop writing them. It is a bit compulsive," he confessed in an interview to mark the book's publication next month.
McNair, who first wrote the letters to amuse his nephews and nieces, said: "They seem to have appealed vastly beyond my expectations. I had great fun doing them."
And the recipients took them in good spirit. "Wherever I have sought permission to print their replies, it has been given. The humor is gentle. I am not trying to debunk anyone."
Morello struck gold with Blair's office when asking for help in a school project on "Governing Britain" by his seven-year-old son Rizzo.
Classmates asked Blair if he was married to Queen Elizabeth. Did he have to wash the windows at Buckingham Palace? Did he wear a crown at meetings?
Blair's office apologized for not being able to answer each question individually but did send a factsheet of Blair's "Favorite Things."
Red is his favorite color, he loves the films "Casablanca" and "Schindler's List" and picks "Julius Caesar" as his preferred Shakespeare play.
Morello takes surreal humor to new heights of absurdity when tackling his menagerie of pet gerbils, emus and goats.
Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott, famed for once taking a swipe at a protester, gives permission to have a bull terrier named after him.
Opposition Conservative deputy Oliver Letwin agrees to have a gerbil named after him "on condition that J.Prescott the bull terrier is kept well away from his cage."
Morello asks The School of Taxidermy how much it would cost to stuff his ailing dachshund dogs. Arsenal Football Club is regaled with tales of a dream he had about a game there in 1893.
And the prize for best reply goes to Channel Four News presenter Jon Snow when Morello warns him that his elderly neighbor Mrs Singanayaragaram believes Snow can see through the TV screen into her bedroom when reading the news.
"72 years old she may be but even through a screen I would like to assure her she is in the most remarkable condition," Snow wrote back.
