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irritable bowel syndrome causes woman to steal

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iambrutus

iambrutus

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    • I'veGottaPoop

    CAPE CORAL, Fla.- A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome, authorities said. Helen Gallo, 61, of Clearwater, was arrested Sunday after allegedly shoplifting from a Cape Coral grocery store, The Daily Breeze of Cape Coral reported.
    Gallo reportedly told authorities that she could not wait in line because she has irritable bowel syndrome, according to the newspaper.
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    what a shitty excuse for stealing
     
    I suppose if you shit yourself while the cop was standing there it might, or he might just decide to fill in the ticket from the comfort of the inside of his cruiser... While laughing at your shitty situation.
     
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    Thump;813797; said:
    I always wondered if having to take a monstrous shit would work for getting out of a speeding ticket?
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    My brother-in-law once got pulled over and he REALLY had to take a leak (although he probably would have been speeding anyway). The cop laughed when he told him that this was why he was speeding, but did not let him go without a ticket. Maybe a monster dump would count more....
     
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    Thump;813797; said:
    I always wondered if having to take a monstrous shit would work for getting out of a speeding ticket?
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    I don't remember doing this, but it's true. When I was 3, I went to Zoar Village with my parents and friends. Apparently I took a massive dump in my pants, and my parent's didn't have a backup pair of undies. So they took my underpants, cleaned them off in one of the bathrooms, and I just put my shorts back on. After the day was over, we were on our way to our friends house, so we didn't go home to get an extra pair for myself. My dad slightly rolled down the window, stuck my underpants out the window, and then rolled the window back up so they were hanging outside. My dad was going about 70 down these country roads trying to dry my drawers, and whipped by a cop who promptly pulled us over. My parents explained to the cop what happened and he laughed his ass off when he saw me in the back seat sound asleep. He let us go, but told my dad to watch his speed.
     
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