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Inane Thread of the Day

Lois: Peter how could you have tried to sell our daughter?

Peter: All right Lois I don't want this to ruin our date night so I'll make it up to ya. (hands her a greeting card)

Lois: Oh Peter! (reads Card) "I'm sorry I tried to sell our daughter"

Peter: Yeah, you don't know how hard it was to find one of those in english.
 
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Peter: "Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually."
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Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
 
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Stewie: [ to LaDonne's Boyfriend] Ha! I've got your hat! Take that, Hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hacky-sack tournee! I'm not going to lie down for some frat-boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal bandits and his Abercrombie & Fitch long-sleeved, open-stitch, crew-neck Henley smoking his sticky-buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded "Simpsons" episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow." Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? So does everyone else! That is *exactly* the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at one in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar-skank ladder!
 
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Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
 
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