First, I'll acknowledge that this is a bit like an absentee father coming in and trying to lay down ground rules for the kids that live with mom, but just bear with me and when I'm done I'll buy everyone some ice cream. Of course, you all know (or should know) that I've only been absent from the forums, never the site itself, and it's only been an issue of how I feel, not a lack of interest or concern. While my well documented issues remain, it's of significant importance to me that I find my voice here on the forums again this year. For too long my BP time has been devoted to fixing things, things I'm relatively ill equipped to deal with anyway, so this year I'm going to spend less time stressing about that (of course, I'll still do so when and if something breaks) and more looking for opportunities to speak up and make a real ass of myself around here.
Second, this is one of those longish posts for which I'm known and [strike]loved[/strike] feared. I hope each of you will bear with me and read through it, and again, there's ice cream at the end.
Let's swing back to the core purpose of this post though. Every season I'm dismayed to see how many people draw game, week, or longer bans. I'm even more dismayed when it's people I really like and respect. These incidents really spike during and after close wins, and certainly losses (happily we haven't seen too many of those), and I want to be as proactive as possible about preventing them.
BP is a forum, not a chat room. During games we often have a 'live' thread, but what you have to remember is there's a measure of permanence to this vehicle. A throw-away comment at home, in the stadium, or in a live chat room is ephemeral[sup]1[/sup]; you say it, it exists for those present, and then it flits away and there's no record of it save the memory of those who were exposed. Here, it's memorialized. So it sits there waiting, a little (or big) emotional hook, for a fish to come along and bite. One emotional hook buys another, and the next thing you know the thread is all about one or two (or a few) people, and it's less about a community-driven discussion about the game. So scream at your television sets. Rant and rave in PMs to those like-minded. Call your sibling's cell and unload everything you need to unload, but think twice (maybe three times) before going as far as posting it here. I want people's thoughts, I also want people responding to other people's thoughts -- but it has to have enough measure and control that we stay functional. That's really what it's all about. A lot of Americans have some variation of a basic philosophy that revolves loosely around the concept that says "I should be able to do as I please (within reason) as long as it doesn't adversely affect others." That's a great place to go before you post here. "I'm mad as hell and I need to unload -- will people be able to respond to my post, or will they simply react?" Responses are great. Reactions are a mixed bag.
Let me be clear about my intent here. It's about seeing fewer bans (bans I myself have called for and endorse). We can delete nonsense, that's less of an issue (although it's a burden for the mods and admins, more on that in a moment), but losing a good poster for a week is tough. I need the good posters, especially this season, because it's harder this year for me to sit here and type out a post than it was last year, and the year before -- and I need the great conversations and debates this site is known for to help draw me in. I'm not saying it's all about me, I am saying that I need your help (each of you), and I need it most when things are toughest and emotions are running hottest.
Don't bash coaches or players. It's old news that some players, a lot of recruits, and a whole bunch of friends and family of each of the preceding groups at least browse here -- everything we say (as silly as it may sound) represents us as a community, and even represents (to some degree) the program itself.
That brings me to fans of opposing teams. We want them here. What we have to remember is that they feel as passionately about their team as we do ours. It reminds me of some lecture I had ages ago, or some quote from within that lecture. It was in a political management ethics class, and it basically went something like:
"You must operate on the premise that there are people out there who are as well informed or better informed than you are, are as smart or are smarter than you are, and who possess as much good will as you -- and who believe just the OPPOSITE of what you believe. Are you a liberal/conservative? Then understand that there are people who know more history than you, more economics, more politics, who take their civic duties more seriously, who love mankind more avidly, treasure liberty more than you do, and who believe in something they think of as conservativism/liberalism."
Follow me with the "choose your own adventure" color coding there, I didn't feel like typing it twice.
I'm applying that rule (one that stuck with me) here because I think it's loosely applicable. Expect fans of other teams to have as much (or more) love and respect for their own programs as you do yours. Appreciate the fact that it's hard for them to be immersed in another fan base's love for their team, and that little throw away comments by us can be read and perceived as barbs towards them. Opposing fans are here (generally speaking) for two reasons: (1) to troll; (2) to interact and learn. Trolls? Let the mods deal with them. We don't have a smack forum. We've talked about it, but at present one still doesn't exist. Here's the problem with feeding trolls, you think you're making sport of one asshole, but what you're actually doing is harming the good fans of the team he or she claims to represent. If a Cane fan is on here barking (for example) then slamming his team is less a problem to him (that's what he wants, a text riot) than it is to the handful of good Cane posters that may be here lightly posting and/or lurking. We want the good ones, not the bad ones. The latter are drawn to sites where trolls are fed. The former are encouraged to participate when their team(s) aren't being trashed by way of troll bait. It's pretty simple.
Civility, civility, civility. Putting a beat down on a troglodyte can be fun, but it affects more than just him. Let the mods ban them, if you have to mock them find ways to do it directly (personally[sup]2[/sup], rather than as a representative of a given team) -- the best bet is just to ignore them. They don't last long.
Arguments amongst fellow BPers are inevitable. I'd ask that we all follow one primary rule: phrase your opponent's argument in such a way that your opponent would agree with it. Don't assume the worst in what they're trying to say, do your best to understand their true meaning rather than run with one of what could be an infinite number of interpretations. This may seem like an odd place to put a prime rule for arguments, but it has two benefits. One, it dispenses with the worthless spiral of accusations or declarations of misrepresentations. Two, it forces you to think about what the other party believes and why. Don't rewrite other's positions, or at least make a good faith effort not to. That's a cheap and easy way to divert from the core points. I'm not saying every argument needs to be approached with resolution in mind -- what I am saying is that you're better off arguing the points of difference, rather than bastardizations or extremely oblique but convenient (for you) angles thereof. The low hanging fruit is easy, but it's rarely tasty.
Look, just have fun -- but not at the expense of the ability and opportunity of others to do the same. It's really that simple. No one needs to start singing kumbaya around a camp fire and strip all their clothes off for a circle jerk (if you're about to PM me and point out that such imagery is offensive to you and runs contrary to my comments about not having fun at the expense of others -- appreciate that there are reasonable adult limits to these rules, forgo, and accept my proactive but somewhat heartfelt apology) -- but do store all of this in the back of your mind and do your best to apply some of it even when you're in the fog of a few beers and a terrible on field performance.
Here's hoping we have plenty of the former, and none of the latter, this season.
MODS and ADMINS (this is about them, not directed toward them) carry a terrible burden during and after bad games (wins and losses alike). Not only are they as hurt and frustrated as you are, but they have to put their mod/admin hat on (it's red and has a shiny badge) and keep the site functional. They send the trolls and schadenfreude-goblins away, they read through all the anger and anguish peeling away that which is only going to incite others to great depths of the same. They draw a lot of ire when they make the always difficult decision to give someone a week (or two week) cooling down period. Then they end up sometimes second guessing their own actions or those of their peers. If you don't have this responsibility, you don't want it. For those that do, be glad (very VERY glad) they take it on. Go check out some other sites after a bad beat -- they often shut down entirely, because if they don't, the entire community itself is in some measure of jeopardy. There is no BP without these folks (period), while they are not infallible (most are much closer than I am, though) they all do their best when making hard decisions and taking decisive action. Try to respect that, and them, and don't make it any harder for them than it already is. I can't run the site without them, and I can't stress that enough.
One last thing. If I (by way of Vince and perhaps Ryn, Peach and some others) organized a bpBash during our bye week, which would involve a hotel ball room, a large screen for lesser football games, as well as free beer and food -- would people go? I'm not talking about a fundraiser. I'm talking about a gathering. A party, if you will. A ... dare I say it? FUNraiser. I regret that. Seriously though, anyone?
ENJOY THE SEASON! Hope to see a lot of 'old' names around this year, hope to see (and participate in) a lot of great discussions. Please be patient if the site is slow during or after games, we're running on fumes but I think we'll get through as well as we did last year. Please understand if and when a mod or admin has to touch base with you about a problem, they're doing a tough (too often thankless) job, and they don't like it any more than you do.
Please contact Hubbard[sup]3[/sup] about your ice cream, he's making all the arrangements. Maybe it was JCOSU. One of them. Of course, if they're both BKB, then it must be him. I'll leave it to each of you to sort out.
[sup]1[/sup] -- Credit to BayBuck for catching this; I had 'ethereal' where I wanted 'ephemeral.'
[sup]2[/sup] -- I'm not endorsing the "let's find out his name and get him fired" approach, no trolling is worth that no matter how epic a few older examples of the same may have been in the past.
[sup]3[/sup] -- He actually knows nothing about it, nonetheless, I'm still pointing at him as I run away.
Second, this is one of those longish posts for which I'm known and [strike]loved[/strike] feared. I hope each of you will bear with me and read through it, and again, there's ice cream at the end.
Let's swing back to the core purpose of this post though. Every season I'm dismayed to see how many people draw game, week, or longer bans. I'm even more dismayed when it's people I really like and respect. These incidents really spike during and after close wins, and certainly losses (happily we haven't seen too many of those), and I want to be as proactive as possible about preventing them.
BP is a forum, not a chat room. During games we often have a 'live' thread, but what you have to remember is there's a measure of permanence to this vehicle. A throw-away comment at home, in the stadium, or in a live chat room is ephemeral[sup]1[/sup]; you say it, it exists for those present, and then it flits away and there's no record of it save the memory of those who were exposed. Here, it's memorialized. So it sits there waiting, a little (or big) emotional hook, for a fish to come along and bite. One emotional hook buys another, and the next thing you know the thread is all about one or two (or a few) people, and it's less about a community-driven discussion about the game. So scream at your television sets. Rant and rave in PMs to those like-minded. Call your sibling's cell and unload everything you need to unload, but think twice (maybe three times) before going as far as posting it here. I want people's thoughts, I also want people responding to other people's thoughts -- but it has to have enough measure and control that we stay functional. That's really what it's all about. A lot of Americans have some variation of a basic philosophy that revolves loosely around the concept that says "I should be able to do as I please (within reason) as long as it doesn't adversely affect others." That's a great place to go before you post here. "I'm mad as hell and I need to unload -- will people be able to respond to my post, or will they simply react?" Responses are great. Reactions are a mixed bag.
Let me be clear about my intent here. It's about seeing fewer bans (bans I myself have called for and endorse). We can delete nonsense, that's less of an issue (although it's a burden for the mods and admins, more on that in a moment), but losing a good poster for a week is tough. I need the good posters, especially this season, because it's harder this year for me to sit here and type out a post than it was last year, and the year before -- and I need the great conversations and debates this site is known for to help draw me in. I'm not saying it's all about me, I am saying that I need your help (each of you), and I need it most when things are toughest and emotions are running hottest.
Don't bash coaches or players. It's old news that some players, a lot of recruits, and a whole bunch of friends and family of each of the preceding groups at least browse here -- everything we say (as silly as it may sound) represents us as a community, and even represents (to some degree) the program itself.
That brings me to fans of opposing teams. We want them here. What we have to remember is that they feel as passionately about their team as we do ours. It reminds me of some lecture I had ages ago, or some quote from within that lecture. It was in a political management ethics class, and it basically went something like:
"You must operate on the premise that there are people out there who are as well informed or better informed than you are, are as smart or are smarter than you are, and who possess as much good will as you -- and who believe just the OPPOSITE of what you believe. Are you a liberal/conservative? Then understand that there are people who know more history than you, more economics, more politics, who take their civic duties more seriously, who love mankind more avidly, treasure liberty more than you do, and who believe in something they think of as conservativism/liberalism."
Follow me with the "choose your own adventure" color coding there, I didn't feel like typing it twice.
I'm applying that rule (one that stuck with me) here because I think it's loosely applicable. Expect fans of other teams to have as much (or more) love and respect for their own programs as you do yours. Appreciate the fact that it's hard for them to be immersed in another fan base's love for their team, and that little throw away comments by us can be read and perceived as barbs towards them. Opposing fans are here (generally speaking) for two reasons: (1) to troll; (2) to interact and learn. Trolls? Let the mods deal with them. We don't have a smack forum. We've talked about it, but at present one still doesn't exist. Here's the problem with feeding trolls, you think you're making sport of one asshole, but what you're actually doing is harming the good fans of the team he or she claims to represent. If a Cane fan is on here barking (for example) then slamming his team is less a problem to him (that's what he wants, a text riot) than it is to the handful of good Cane posters that may be here lightly posting and/or lurking. We want the good ones, not the bad ones. The latter are drawn to sites where trolls are fed. The former are encouraged to participate when their team(s) aren't being trashed by way of troll bait. It's pretty simple.
Civility, civility, civility. Putting a beat down on a troglodyte can be fun, but it affects more than just him. Let the mods ban them, if you have to mock them find ways to do it directly (personally[sup]2[/sup], rather than as a representative of a given team) -- the best bet is just to ignore them. They don't last long.
Arguments amongst fellow BPers are inevitable. I'd ask that we all follow one primary rule: phrase your opponent's argument in such a way that your opponent would agree with it. Don't assume the worst in what they're trying to say, do your best to understand their true meaning rather than run with one of what could be an infinite number of interpretations. This may seem like an odd place to put a prime rule for arguments, but it has two benefits. One, it dispenses with the worthless spiral of accusations or declarations of misrepresentations. Two, it forces you to think about what the other party believes and why. Don't rewrite other's positions, or at least make a good faith effort not to. That's a cheap and easy way to divert from the core points. I'm not saying every argument needs to be approached with resolution in mind -- what I am saying is that you're better off arguing the points of difference, rather than bastardizations or extremely oblique but convenient (for you) angles thereof. The low hanging fruit is easy, but it's rarely tasty.
Look, just have fun -- but not at the expense of the ability and opportunity of others to do the same. It's really that simple. No one needs to start singing kumbaya around a camp fire and strip all their clothes off for a circle jerk (if you're about to PM me and point out that such imagery is offensive to you and runs contrary to my comments about not having fun at the expense of others -- appreciate that there are reasonable adult limits to these rules, forgo, and accept my proactive but somewhat heartfelt apology) -- but do store all of this in the back of your mind and do your best to apply some of it even when you're in the fog of a few beers and a terrible on field performance.
Here's hoping we have plenty of the former, and none of the latter, this season.
MODS and ADMINS (this is about them, not directed toward them) carry a terrible burden during and after bad games (wins and losses alike). Not only are they as hurt and frustrated as you are, but they have to put their mod/admin hat on (it's red and has a shiny badge) and keep the site functional. They send the trolls and schadenfreude-goblins away, they read through all the anger and anguish peeling away that which is only going to incite others to great depths of the same. They draw a lot of ire when they make the always difficult decision to give someone a week (or two week) cooling down period. Then they end up sometimes second guessing their own actions or those of their peers. If you don't have this responsibility, you don't want it. For those that do, be glad (very VERY glad) they take it on. Go check out some other sites after a bad beat -- they often shut down entirely, because if they don't, the entire community itself is in some measure of jeopardy. There is no BP without these folks (period), while they are not infallible (most are much closer than I am, though) they all do their best when making hard decisions and taking decisive action. Try to respect that, and them, and don't make it any harder for them than it already is. I can't run the site without them, and I can't stress that enough.
One last thing. If I (by way of Vince and perhaps Ryn, Peach and some others) organized a bpBash during our bye week, which would involve a hotel ball room, a large screen for lesser football games, as well as free beer and food -- would people go? I'm not talking about a fundraiser. I'm talking about a gathering. A party, if you will. A ... dare I say it? FUNraiser. I regret that. Seriously though, anyone?
ENJOY THE SEASON! Hope to see a lot of 'old' names around this year, hope to see (and participate in) a lot of great discussions. Please be patient if the site is slow during or after games, we're running on fumes but I think we'll get through as well as we did last year. Please understand if and when a mod or admin has to touch base with you about a problem, they're doing a tough (too often thankless) job, and they don't like it any more than you do.
Please contact Hubbard[sup]3[/sup] about your ice cream, he's making all the arrangements. Maybe it was JCOSU. One of them. Of course, if they're both BKB, then it must be him. I'll leave it to each of you to sort out.
[sup]1[/sup] -- Credit to BayBuck for catching this; I had 'ethereal' where I wanted 'ephemeral.'
[sup]2[/sup] -- I'm not endorsing the "let's find out his name and get him fired" approach, no trolling is worth that no matter how epic a few older examples of the same may have been in the past.
[sup]3[/sup] -- He actually knows nothing about it, nonetheless, I'm still pointing at him as I run away.
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