Best Buckeye;618717; said:
I'd bet she'd give you away...
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- Thread starter MililaniBuckeye
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I'd bet she'd give you away...
Hee - Yuk
The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then
starts putting on his coat.
His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?"
He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."
She says, "Why, are you sick?"
He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff."
Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of
her rocker and begins to put on her coat.
He says, "Where the hell are you going"?
She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
He says, "Why, what do you need?"
She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm
getting a tetanus shot."
The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then
starts putting on his coat.
His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?"
He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."
She says, "Why, are you sick?"
He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff."
Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of
her rocker and begins to put on her coat.
He says, "Where the hell are you going"?
She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
He says, "Why, what do you need?"
She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm
getting a tetanus shot."
Upvote
0
OhioState49
Hall of Fame
Best Buckeye;619671; said:Hee - Yuk
The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then
starts putting on his coat.
His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?"
He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."
She says, "Why, are you sick?"
He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff."
Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of
her rocker and begins to put on her coat.
He says, "Where the hell are you going"?
She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
He says, "Why, what do you need?"
She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm
getting a tetanus shot."
Upvote
0
9/28/06
A burglar had been casing a particular house for some time. Finally, he saw the owners leave for what appeared to be an extended camping trip. That night he broke in through a basement window and was trying to find his way in the dark when he heard what seemed to him to be the voice of a very old woman saying "Shame on you! I see you, and Jesus sees you!"
Startled, the burglar snarls back "Shut up, Grandma, or you're gonna get hurt!" He shines his flashlight all around, but no Grandma.
Again the voice: "Shame on you! I see you, and Jesus sees you!" Finally, the beam of the flashlight finds a large cage and in it a pretty upset parrot. Relieved, the burglar turns back around and starts toward the stairs, only to spot an enormous slavering doberman waiting at the top.
Just then the parrot screams, "Sic'em, Jesus!"
Jesus
A burglar had been casing a particular house for some time. Finally, he saw the owners leave for what appeared to be an extended camping trip. That night he broke in through a basement window and was trying to find his way in the dark when he heard what seemed to him to be the voice of a very old woman saying "Shame on you! I see you, and Jesus sees you!"
Startled, the burglar snarls back "Shut up, Grandma, or you're gonna get hurt!" He shines his flashlight all around, but no Grandma.
Again the voice: "Shame on you! I see you, and Jesus sees you!" Finally, the beam of the flashlight finds a large cage and in it a pretty upset parrot. Relieved, the burglar turns back around and starts toward the stairs, only to spot an enormous slavering doberman waiting at the top.
Just then the parrot screams, "Sic'em, Jesus!"
Upvote
0
9/29/06
OHIO TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART
@ +70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Ohio go swimming in the Rivers.
@ +60 degrees
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Ohio plant gardens.
@ +50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Ohio sunbathe.
@ +40 degrees
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Ohio drive with the windows down.
@ +32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Erie water gets thicker.
@ +20 degrees
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly
hats.
People in Ohio throw on a flannel shirt.
@ +15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Ohio have the last cookout before it gets cold.
@ +10 degrees
People in Miami all die...
Buckeyes lick the flagpole.
@ -20 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Ohio get out their winter coats.
@ -40 degrees
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Ohio are selling cookies door to door.
@ -60 degrees
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.
Ohio Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it
gets cold enough.
@ -80 degrees
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Ohio rent some videos.
@ -100 degrees
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Buckeyes get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
@ -297 degrees
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Ohio complain about farmers with cold hands.
@ -460 degrees
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Ohio start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
@ -500 degrees
Hell freezes over.
The Browns win the Super Bowl
OHIO TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART
@ +70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Ohio go swimming in the Rivers.
@ +60 degrees
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Ohio plant gardens.
@ +50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Ohio sunbathe.
@ +40 degrees
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Ohio drive with the windows down.
@ +32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Erie water gets thicker.
@ +20 degrees
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly
hats.
People in Ohio throw on a flannel shirt.
@ +15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Ohio have the last cookout before it gets cold.
@ +10 degrees
People in Miami all die...
Buckeyes lick the flagpole.
@ -20 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Ohio get out their winter coats.
@ -40 degrees
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Ohio are selling cookies door to door.
@ -60 degrees
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.
Ohio Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it
gets cold enough.
@ -80 degrees
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Ohio rent some videos.
@ -100 degrees
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Buckeyes get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
@ -297 degrees
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Ohio complain about farmers with cold hands.
@ -460 degrees
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Ohio start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
@ -500 degrees
Hell freezes over.
The Browns win the Super Bowl
Upvote
0
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