That reminds me of a funny thing I thought about just now. It's about a girl named Yarn Ball, and she was the princess of all the Cole Slaw on her plate.
Yarn Ball's mother was away at work. And, while the cat's away, the mice will usually still hide, because they don't really know that the cat is away. Some mice might believe the cat when he says he's going away, but those mice usually end up being called "afternoon snack," because, as we all know, cat's are very good liars and why would they say they were going away unless it was just a trick to catch the mice? So the smart mice stay hidden in their little mouse-holes (which is a different game from corn-hole) until such time that they can distract the cat with a robotic female cat to seduce the cat, thereby distracting him long enough so the mice can get a quick 9 holes in before sundown.
So, Yarn Ball was playing frisbee with her baby brother (which wasn't as much fun as she wished it were), when there came a knock at the door. Her mother told her to never answer the door when adults weren't home, but she was expecting to receive her fancy shoelaces she ordered from eBay. She opened the door for the stranger, who happened to have a handful of candy for her. She kicked the guy in the knee (like her mother had instructed) and demanded her shoelaces. He gave her the shoelaces, and hobbled back to his delivery van. "I'll show you what Brown can do for you," he muttered, as he checked her off his Christmas list.
Inside the house, she wondered why she was allowed to watch her baby brother, if she was still young enough that she had to be careful of strangers coming to her house. Then she thought that if she was old enough to contemplate that type of thought, she thought that she was old enough to have thoughts like that. Then she thought that that thought didn't make any sense. So she went to play with her fancy shoelaces.
First, like an ordinary 7-year-old boy would do, she whipped out her finger, which had become a laser gun (modified with a laser-sight, and enhanced laser-blasting abilities) and blasted some aliens who rushed out of the closet with their own laser guns. She had successfully defended the fancy shoelaces.
She took the fancy shoelaces from the packaging, and looked at them. They were very fancy. They had clowns and gorillas and monkeys and any other type of primate you might think of. Yep - All on a little strand of string. Since Yarn Ball was only 6 years old, and was already bored with her fancy shoelaces, she decided that she was bored, and wanted to find something to eat. And what else should the princess of Cole Slaw eat, but some potato chips?
She found the potato chips next to the cat's science fair experiment (determining whether a post-it note could ever fall in love with a can of tuna fish) and karate chopped another alien, who was in search of his own potato chips. "These aliens are all over the place, when Mom isn't around," Yarn Ball said, aloud. One time, when her mother was around, an alien popped came out of the laundry chute, and Yarn Ball threw the alien out the window. Her mother was very upset about the window being broken. The aliens stayed hidden from sight until her mother was at work. They usually stayed out of Yarn Ball's sight, too, but she knew that sometimes they watched television when Yarn Ball was at school. (She'd find the television on the Spice channel, or something, and knew that her parents never watched TV.)
With the potato chips safe from the aliens, Yarn Ball got a cup of celery and drank it until she saw her baby brother graduate from high school. Then, aliens invaded the earth, and she was unable to defeat them all. She was enslaved and later executed, but then she got better, and then later set free to live the rest of her days on a farm in Idaho, where she lived happily ever after.
The end.
Edit: Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday. Cut my piece of cake before you spit on it.