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wow, was that really needed?
So ixney on the wife jokes. I had a good one too.

My advice about your friends (if you haven't said anything to them yet) apologize for not making it, but you wanted to spend V-Day with your wife and baby. Never let them know they got you. Plan your revenge and get them back when they least expect it. Making chili out of their parents is always good revenge.
 
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I think you've misunderstood the "fat friend" phenomenon... among females, the "fat friend" is always included so the shallow girls look better by comparison.

This is combatted by men who are sure to have low quality mirrors at their parties to lower the self esteem of the shallow girls and more easily gain carnal knowledge of them.
 
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