Grammar 101 - Needlessly Pedantic Grammar Pet Peeves (merged)

[ScriptOhio]

"Ode to the Spell Checker"

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It came on my pea sea

It plane lee marques four my revue

Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.



Eye strike a key and type a word

And weight four it too say

Weather eye am wrong oar write

It shows me strait a weigh.



As soon as a mist ache is maid

It nose bee fore two long

And eye can put the error rite

Its rare lea ever wrong.



Eye have run this poem threw it

I am shore your pleased two no

Its letter perfect awl the weigh

My chequer tolled me sew!

 

[Taosman]

Why does Buckyle always use your for you're? Doesn't he no how to use spell check? :tongue2:

 

[muffler dragon]

Why does Buckyle always use your for you're? Doesn't he no how to use spell check? :tongue2:

I woodn't ax that question if I was ewe.

 

[sepia5]

This is less a grammar gripe than it is a general observation. Online professional writing is in a state of disarray. Why articles posted on major websites--some of which are tied to print or other forms of media--are apparently not edited even by the writer is beyond me. And, while I have a great deal of faith in the informative nature of the Internet, there's a lot of absolute garbage that gets posted out there. Actually, a lot of the complete junk comes from mainstream media websites. I give you this attrocious piece from Ted Miller entitled "Blount's punch won't go away, but let's hope he grows." (Fucking awful title, by the way.)

I wonder what percentage of those NFL decision-makers who will write off Blount because he punched a guy in college?

..... still waiting for the rest of this sentence. I know there must be more, because that snippet makes no sense without a few more words in there.

No matter what happens the rest of Blount's life, that film will a part of who he is. He could win the Nobel Prize and cure cancer and that clip would pop up again.

All you have to do is read it through once before posting it, Ted. Just once, and you'll catch your mistake. As for the substance of this paragraph, how about toning down the hyperbole just a bit?

But Blount is not a "thug," according to folks who know Blount at Oregon. My impression of him after the couple of times I've talked to him is he's a good-natured guy.

This is more a stylistic gripe than anything, but it does stem from a failure to edit. Why use the young man's last name twice in quick succession like this? Read it once, Ted, and you'll note how unnatural it sounds. If you write for a living, you could at least make some semblance of an effort.

But throwing a person in the trash heap should not be done lightly.

Because you might not get him all the way in if you just do it lightly. No, you've got to go ALL the way. This is a fucking stupid sentence from a stupid, stupid man.

And perhaps get a shot at an NFL career.

These fragmented "sentences" are pervasive in Ted's writing. I think he uses them for dramatic effect, but there's nothing substantively dramatic in anything he writes. Just use complete sentences, Ted. You're not Milan Kundera, so stop pretending you are. You're a sports journalist, and apparently not a very good one at that.

Part of my reaction is self-reflection. I, for one, am a person who has acted stupidly many times and find it hard -- and perhaps a bit hypocritical -- to stand in harsh judgment of a college student who threw a punch at someone who was trash talking him.

That doesn't excuse Blount. He deserves punishment. A season-long suspension is just.

A life-long one is not.

Let's not write him off as a terrible person. Let's root for him to grow from this.

Forgiveness is good.

Jesus. Give it a rest, man.

Blount's punch won't go away, but let's hope he grows - Pac-10 - ESPN

 

[ScriptOhio]

Need for Capitalization

In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of capitalization.
​

For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement. "Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

Is everybody clear on that?
​

​

 

[muffler dragon]

Thought our grammar pedants would get a kick out of this article.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444840104577553020326811222.html

Punctuation Nerds Stopped by Obama Slogan, 'Forward.'

From Both Sides of the Aisle, a Question: Is Ending It With a Period Weird?

By CAROL E. LEE

The. Obama. Campaign. Slogan. Is. Causing. Grammarians. Whiplash.
"Forward." is the culprit. It was chosen to reflect the direction Mr. Obama promises to take the country if re-elected. It also is designed to implicitly convey the opposite: that likely Republican nominee Mitt Romney would set the nation in reverse.
Simple enough. Except the moment seven characters became eight, things got complicated. Period. Even for some in the president's orbit, the added punctuation slams the brakes on a word supposed to convey momentum.
"It's like 'forward, now stop,' " said Austan Goolsbee, the former chairman of the National Economic Council who still advises the Obama campaign. He added, "It could be worse. It could be 'Forward' comma," which would make it raise the question: "and now what?"
The president signed off on his own slogan, but evidently isn't sold. "Forward! Period. Full stop," he has joked to his campaign staff, according to an Obama adviser.
On that, if on nothing else, Mr. Obama has bipartisan support.
"It's sort of a buzz kill," said Rep. Pete King (R., N.Y.).
The period was a subject of a spirited debate as Mr. Obama's senior advisers and outside consultants spent hours in a conference room at their Chicago campaign headquarters deliberating over the perfect slogan, according to an adviser who was in attendance.
Does a period add emphasis? Yes! Does it undermine the sense of the word? Maybe!
cont.

 

[BayBuck]

FACT: IT IS ACCEPTABLE, SOMETIMES EVEN PREFERABLE, TO END A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION.

Virtually every modern prescriptivist and grammarian agrees on this one, yet it still haunts English classes like a deranged ghost. Even the famous Winston Churchill line ending "up with which I will not put" is a complete bumblefluck of misattribution and poor editing.

With all due respect to BP's own Dryden, EABOD John Dryden. Latin is dead, long live the English!

 

[morbitzerker]

If there is one thing I've learned this summer, you need more FACTS and EVIDENTS.

 

[OSU_Buckguy]

FACT: IT IS ACCEPTABLE, SOMETIMES EVEN PREFERABLE, TO END A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION.

...

Even the famous Winston Churchill line ending "up with which I will not put" is a complete bumblefluck of misattribution and poor editing.

churchill provided a poor example. "to put up with" is a phrasal verb: a verb followed by a prepositional adverb, which is different from a normal preposition. if "up," "with," or "up with" is excised from the listed phrase, the intended meaning of the verb "put" is lost. "to put," "to put up," and "to put up with" have markedly different meanings. on the other hand, if a prepositional phrase following a verb were removed, the verb would not lose its meaning altogether or at least have it severely changed.

 

[BayBuck]

churchill provided a poor example. "to put up with" is a phrasal verb: a verb followed by a prepositional adverb, which is different from a normal preposition. if "up," "with," or "up with" is excised from the listed phrase, the intended meaning of the verb "put" is lost. "to put," "to put up," and "to put up with" have markedly different meanings. on the other hand, if a prepositional phrase following a verb were removed, the verb would not lose its meaning altogether or at least have it severely changed.

True dat. My point was that he never even used it as it is too often alleged, by "needlessly pedantic" prescriptivists looking to bolster their argument against sentence-ending prepositions.

http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/002670.html

Irregardless, English users should feel free to end their sentences with prepositions whenever it seems more natural, because this is our language, by gosh and begorrah! Rigidly adhering to some old poet's Latinate grammar preferences is a sure path to linguistic irrelevance.

 

[calibuck]

The Ohio State grad was at the famous East coast university getting his law degree. He asked one of the Eli, "Where is the law library at?"

The Eli responded, "We at Yale don't end our sentences with a preposition."

The Buckeye looked at him and responded, "OK, where is the law library at, a**hole?"

Pendantic, naw. Funny, heck yes.

:gobucks3::gobucks4:

 

[OHSportsFan]

The Ohio State grad was at the famous East coast university getting his law degree. He asked one of the Eli, "Where is the law library at?"

The Eli responded, "We at Yale don't end our sentences with a preposition."

The Buckeye looked at him and responded, "OK, where is the law library at, a**hole?"

Pendantic, naw. Funny, heck yes.

:gobucks3::gobucks4:

Decent flick.

 

[ScriptOhio]

Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning.

A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym.

You think English is easy??

I think a retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT!

Read all the way to the end.................This took a lot of work to put together!

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this o my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if
we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig
is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If
the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2
meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you
have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In
what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have
noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You
have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in
which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

 

[DaddyBigBucks]

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/moot

 

[BuckeyeNation27]

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/moot

It's moo.