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Gridiron Goober returns with football predictions

Thursday, August 26, 2004 10:44 AM CDT

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</td> </tr> </tbody> </table> Howdy, howdy, howdy. I is back!

It's been a good offseason, but I has been back studyin' all the football stuff I kin git my hands on.

One interestin' story I done heard could help explain the success of some teams, or lack of.

Fer instance, take the story of how Michigan coach Lloyd Carr tried to make his team better. He went to see Jim Tressel at Ohio State to git some advice. <table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right"> <tbody><tr> <td class="cutline" align="center"> <!-- AdSys ad not found for sports:middle -->
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"Jim, how do you do it? Ya beat me the first two years you wuz here."

Tressel told Carr he needed a smart quarterback. To prove his point, he went to Justin Zwick and asked, "Who is your father's brother's nephew?"

Zwick answered, "Me."

Carr went back to practice and asked his quarterback Matt Guiterrez, "Who is your father's brother's nephew?"

Guiterrez thought about it, then went to ask receiver Steve Breaston the question. Breaston thought a moment and said, "Why, it's me."

Guiterrez went back to Carr and said, "I know the answer coach. It's Steve Breaston."

Carr just shook his head. "No, no, no. You're wrong. No wonder we're not that good. The answer is Justin Zwick."

Hee hee hee. I know, the game is still three months away, but it is Michigan.