Funny quotes from drunk people

[OSUsushichic]

Last night at the bar there were two drunk guys yelling back and forth at each other across the bar the entire time. Snippets of their conversation:

Drunk guy #1: Did you pick this song? (referring to the jukebox)
Drunk guy #2: Yeah, man.
Drunk guy #1: Well, it sucks!!!

later....

Drunk guy #1: You're as dumb as a box of rocks!
Drunk guy #2: You've got it wrong, buddy. You're, like, a comic book writer, and I'm fuckin' Tolstoy!

I'm still laughing about it today.

Feel free to share idiotic drunken speak as you hear it!

 

[Saw31]

Uh oh...I think drunk guy #2 might be me...:p

 

[NJ-Buckeye]

this is a from a real story I witnessed a couple months back...

Drunk, semi-obnoxious guy at local bar is having a lot of fun.. not really crossing the line...
Snobby lady who must have thought she was sophisticated... giving him the evil and disgusted look.. a number of times... finally
Drunk fella leans over and says "ya know.. you're not very good lookin' but I'd still like to see the top of your head for 15 minutes"

I almost wet myself
Sophisticated lady was speechless.. mouth drawn