Help.
A sneaky black snake has taken up residence on my front porch.
One of us has to go and since I pay the mortgage, it's him.
I can't tolerate the idea of him slithering about in our siding and hate the way he taunts me when I come out on the porch.
I have tried screaming at him and I have tried reasoning with him.
Friends have thrown raspberry lime flavored seltzer at him but he's not moving.
I even surrounded my house with moth balls which makes for a lovely scent all over, but nope, mr. sneaky snake doesn't seem to mind.
My cats are useless.
My chocolate lab is still a pup and hasn't noticed the huge woodchuck in the back yard so chances that he's going to see the snake are slim.
My husband humors me by trying to fill in gaps in the molding on the porch, but I think he's ready to have me committed.
I read this on line: "From a mongoose you can learn how to catch a snake. First, get its attention and dare it to strike. Second, jump out of the way. Third, repeat steps one and two till the snake is worn out. Then grab the snake's head in your mouth, crush it, and enjoy your meal at leisure. During steps one, two, and three you do have to watch out, because if a poisonous snake bites you while you're taunting it, you're dead. But if you're a mongoose, once the snake is dead you can eat it, venom and all, without the slightest indigestion."
