Finally found a Twitter page worth reading.

[DA-Bucks]

It's called "Shit my dad says"
Bio I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says

Here's a few excerpts:

"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"

(watching the Little League World Series) "These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league.... You were fat."

"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

"You need to flush the toilet more than once...No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."

"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."

Justin (shitmydadsays) on Twitter

 

[OSUsushichic]

Is that BillRomanowski's Twitter feed?

 

[souL]

Jesust christ, I'm crying my eyes out over here. Funniest thing I've read in months.

 

[Romanowski]

Is that BillRomanowski's Twitter feed?

my dad!?!?!...

my dad would say something like, "Bill, where's the plunger? The sauerkraut was a little off...or just right...I don't know...where's the plunger?"

or

Dad: "I thought you were coaching?"
Me: "Dad, I work till 8:30 most nights during the week..."
Dad: "Since when?"
Me: "Since two years ago when I took this position..."
Dad: "Oh...jeez...okay"

or

Dad: "You should've seen this woman at Giant Eagle the other day, LARGE...apparently pizzas were 4 for $10 and I saw at least $40 worth of pizza."
Me: "That's good economic spending...maybe she likes pizza and maybe she has a thyroid issue."
Dad: "Thyroid schmyroid, that's ridiculous...hey, speaking of ridiculous, Eric Wedge is garbage, and I'm not sure Carmona would've started for your little league team..."
Me: "Bad day?"
Dad: "No, just more aware than usual..."
Me: "Oh...well, nice talk"
Dad: "I'll see ya..."

 

[OCBuckWife]

That one is hilarious. This one is good too. Yea, it's just a webcomic character but as an insult comic, Yelling Bird rocks.

http://twitter.com/Yelling_Bird

 

[TheStoicPaisano]

Is his dad Don Vito?