Michael Cera's Arrested Development Contract Revealed!
by Lauren Gitlin February 25, 2009 3:56 PM
It's official: the
Arrested Development movie is happening! After months of hemming and hawing from one Michael Cera (aka George Michael Bluth), the lone player refusing to sign on to the film, homeboy has
finally agreed to do the damn thing. (Mitchell Hurwitz said he wouldn't move forward on a script unless he had all of the original cast members on board.) Over the course of these last tortured months, I found myself asking what the hell was going on with young Mr. Cera. Since when do retiring milquetoast hipsters turn into demanding divas that hold up production of a movie fans have been campaigning for since the beloved show got canceled? Why would Cera, whose public persona has always been affably awkward,
essentially bad-mouth the show that made him a star? And you think you know a person. I've pieced together the hellishly demanding terms of his contract in the hopes of revealing MC's true nature.
1) Indie rock must be pumped in to the sets in between scenes.
2) Lifetime supply of thrift store sweaters.
3) Trailer must be outfitted with acoustic guitar, vintage
Ghostbusters action figures and 250 white gardenias (taking a page from the J Lo tour rider are we, George Michael?).
4) At least one scene must show him in shorts or underwear, displaying his long, slender legs, which he believes to be his best feature (see
Juno and
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist).
5)
Open-faced sandwiches available at craft services at all times.
6) Final cut approval on the movie's inevitable extras/blooper reel features to ensure no
damning evidence of his
dickwad-ery .
7) A permanent restraining order
against Zach Galifianakis.
What do you all make of Cera's 'tude? And are you as psyched as I am this movie's finally getting made? Please advise in comments below.