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Fake College Football Headlines

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BB73

BB73

Loves Buckeye History
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'16 & '17 Upset Contest Winner
Here's an article by Tony Gerdemen with some entertaining stuff. Feel free to add you own "headlines".

ozone.Gerdoni

Now that Spring Football is upon us, it's time for all of the great football stories to start popping up. Stories that anger us, depress us, rile us up and then anger us some more.

In order to prepare you for what is to come, I've provided 100 headlines that you may be seeing this year. Hopefully these headlines can act as a type of spring training for the fans to get you ready to spew justifiably reactive bile. But remember, it's just spring training--none of it counts yet. (Besides, you should save your venom for the regular season, when many writers need it to justify their existence.)

100 Headlines That May or May Not Happen This Year

5. Penn State players miss the camaraderie of Trash Day; vow to "get the band back together".

14. Seven Volunteer players injured in fishing accident when dynamite detonated too close to the surface.

19. Buckeyes brace for backlash after beating USC in a "down year for the Trojans".

24. Kirk Ferentz on his players' year-long battles with the law: "The fact is that there's just too much to do in Iowa City to avoid this sort of thing, what with all of the tractors and beer."

25. Rich Rodriguez dismisses the notion of a recession citing record sales of snake oil and wizardry lessons.

26. After banning guns from his team, Miami head coach Randy Shannon next set to ban "swordplay".

Cont'd ...
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My two personal favorites:

69. Lloyd Carr miserable failure as studio analyst; former coach refused to speak during halftime segments.

94. Everybody in ACC finishes 6-6; Frank Beamer only coach disappointed.
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We may also see Pennsylvania recruit Dorian Bell follow in Pryor's footsteps and commit to "Ohio State College."
 
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HailToMichigan;1126361; said:
We may also see Pennsylvania recruit Dorian Bell follow in Pryor's footsteps and commit to "Ohio State College."
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Pryor said "University of Ohio State". Feel free to make fun of him when he leads us to victory over "Michigan University"...
 
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From the article...:slappy:

37. LSU suspends Ryan Perrilloux for 9th time; still expected to start against Florida.

38. Report: Children (or teachers) who ate paste in school 84% more likely to engage in conference-affiliation chants.

100. Kimbo Slice declines offer to play for Penn State, saying team culture "just too violent".
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