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Dress For Success . . .

First Impressions count ...

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The proud author
 
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Grooming - All hair, moustaches and beards must be neatly groomed and cologne must be used sparingly. Protruding nasal hair is prohibited and all tattoos must be fully hidden. If you have been working all-night and have an early morning meeting, you can use an anti-inflammatory hemorrhoid cream (e.g. Preparation H) to quickly shrink those unsightly puffy bags under your eyes. Just carefully dab the ass cream on your lower eyelids (being careful not to get any in your eyes) and you will look fresh and well-rested.

I know that people use this for the purpose mentioned but if I hadn't already known this I would think he was aiming for the "shock factor".
 
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