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Darwin Awards (Mega-Merge)

Hey Leroy, watch this!!

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/01/18/balcony.death.ap/index.html

Woman falls to death attempting balcony handstand
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 Posted: 11:45 AM EST (1645 GMT)




NORTH FORT MYERS, Florida (AP) -- A woman fell to her death while trying to do a handstand on the railing of a second-floor hotel balcony, sheriff's officials said.

Molly Jerman, 23, of Cape Coral died Sunday. While attempting a handstand, she toppled over and dropped to the hotel patio, according to the Lee County sheriff's department.

Just before she fell, she had called out to a friend, "Watch to see what I can still do," a police report said. Foul play is not believed to be involved, officials said.

This just reaks of a Darwin winner...
 
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Front-runner for the next Darwin Awards...

Woman falls to death attempting balcony handstand
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 Posted: 11:45 AM EST (1645 GMT)

NORTH FORT MYERS, Florida (AP) -- A woman fell to her death while trying to do a handstand on the railing of a second-floor hotel balcony, sheriff's officials said.

Molly Jerman, 23, of Cape Coral died Sunday. While attempting a handstand, she toppled over and dropped to the hotel patio, according to the Lee County sheriff's department.

Just before she fell, she had called out to a friend, "Watch to see what I can still do," a police report said. Foul play is not believed to be involved, officials said.
 
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Could this perhaps be "the rest of the story"

What you didn't see -

NORTH FORT MYERS, Florida (TIC) -- Just two hours prior to her untimely death, a second-story fall from a balcony railing while trying to do a handstand, Molly Jerman, 23, of Cape Coral set the Florida state record for margarita consumption at the Florida State Margarita Drinking Championships by downing 18 of the tequila based beverages in less than 45 minutes. Peter Stevens, the owner-bartender of Pistol Pete's Mexican Cantina said the 2005 contest will be renamed in her honor - it will forever be known as The Swan Dive Margarita Drinking Contest.
 
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Second story-that really sucks-must have landed on her head. We had an idiot jump out of second floor window at the HS I teach at and he was fine-he is actually a good kid-not a stoner or a complete lunatic or anything like that.....
 
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I just got this email. I really hope these are made up.



<tt>
This year's Stella Awards
It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella
Awards.

The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck, who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired
the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the
United States. (Unfortunately, the most recent lawsuit implicating
McDonald's, the
teens who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was filed
after
the voting was closed.)

THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO ....
5TH PLACE (TIED): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping
over
a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the
store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5TH PLACE (TIED): 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000
and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the
wheel of
the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5TH PLACE (TIED): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
leaving the house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He
was not
able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener
was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage had locked when he pulled it shut. The
family was
on vacation and Mr Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8
days.
He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog
food.
He sued the homeowners insurance, claiming the situation caused him
undue
mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4TH PLACE: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500
and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
door
neighbor's beagle dog. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
might have been a little provoked at the time, as Mr. Williams, who
had
climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a
pellet
gun.

3RD PLACE: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink
and
broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an
argument

2ND PLACE: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a
Night
Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred while
Ms.
Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid
paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental
expenses.

1ST PLACE: This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago
Motor
home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto
the
freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver's seat
to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee Not surprisingly
the RV
left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago
for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually
do
this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home.
The
company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just
in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational
vehicles.
</tt>
 
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Snopes.com says that those lawsuits aren't real.

But, there are probably plenty of real ones that are just as stupid.

For instance, if I ever develop carpal tunnel syndrome, I'm going to sue Buckeye Planet and Ohio State. The university caused me to become a huge football fan while I attended school there, and since I'm a huge fan I visit this site and type a lot of messages. If not for these actions, I would not get carpal tunnel syndrome.
 
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Jumping Jack Flash - Potential Darwin Award Candidates

Hilarious, dumb, acts of automotive self-immolation.

How would you like to meet these guys? <!-- END HEADLINE -->
<!-- BEGIN STORY BODY -->Mon Aug 29,12:01 PM ET



Three men trying to steal fuel from a New Zealand farm Monday ended up setting fire to their own car.

Police said the trio had siphoned diesel into a petrol-driven vehicle. When their car would not start, they examined the fuel pipe using a cigarette lighter.

One click, a boom and the car burst into flames.

"It wasn't a major whodunnit," senior sergeant Ross Gilbert told Reuters, from the small North Island town of Waipukurau, about 140 miles northeast of Wellington.

"Fortunately for them, there is no criminal charge for stupidity."

The men, aged 18 to 19, escaped injury but were charged with theft.
 
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Paging Dr. Darwin...

AJC

1/5

Branding leads to resignation
Roswell football assistant leaves

By BILL SANDERS, PAUL KAPLAN
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 01/05/06 Seventeen football players at Roswell High School branded themselves in a show of solidarity this past season, and an assistant coach who attended the rituals has resigned amid a county investigation, school officials confirmed.
Mario Hansbrough, the defensive coordinator for the north Fulton school, made a weekly routine of taking players off campus, behind the school, on Thursday nights and overseeing as they branded red-hot paper clips that left an inch-long scar on the chest of defensive players who were set to start that Friday, according to athletics department officials, including head coach Tim McFarlin.
<!--endtext--><!--endclickprintinclude--><!--startclickprintinclude--><!--begintext--> McFarlin said the players had seen a branded fraternity Greek letter omega on Hansbrough's shoulder, and decided to do something similar as a show of defensive solidarity.
He said Hansbrough talked the kids into using small paper clips instead of something more drastic.
"I'm disappointed he was there," McFarlin said. "He used poor judgment, but I know his heart and I know he didn't do one thing to hurt kids. He was doing this because the kids were intent on doing something anyway. We all make poor decisions at some point in life. If it was up to me, I'd retain him, but I know the liability issues here."
An anonymous caller told the Fulton County school superintendent's office of the brandings, school officials said. The matter was turned over to the Fulton County athletics office, and Hansbrough resigned during the investigation.
When contacted Wednesday, Hansbrough declined to comment, as did the parents of several players.
McFarlin said the kids who participated saw it as sort of a badge of honor. He said he didn't know about it until the investigation surfaced in mid-December.
Hansbrough is respected by the players on the team and has been a role model for them, several parents said. He's also highly regarded as a history teacher, they said.
"This does not portray his character or leadership at all — he's worked tirelessly for the boys," said Richard Niedzwiecki, vice president of the football booster club, whose son plays on the team but did not participate in the branding. "All the parents that I discussed it with are very supportive of the coach."
McFarlin said he too had spoken with several parents who were supportive of Hansbrough. "Mario has a real talent for this profession and for teaching and I'd recommend him in a heartbeat," McFarlin said.
Stephen Ehret, whose son was a reserve defensive lineman who did not participate in the branding, said Hansbrough was a tough disciplinarian, and Ehret meant it as a compliment. "He'd go after kids when other teachers were more timid and didn't discipline them," he said.
Ehret said he didn't agree with the ritual, but added: "I see things kids put on their bodies that are a lot more objectionable than that, like tattoos."
Niedzwiecki said it was his understanding that the branding was not presented to the players as a requirement for starting or for getting playing time. The Hornets won the Region 6-AAAAA championship this past season, and made it to the second round of the state playoffs.
Roswell athletics director Mike Power said he'd been out of the state on family matters for 28 of the last 30 days and didn't know all the details, but confirmed the investigation and Hansbrough's resignation.
"I do know that he'd been wanting to coach elsewhere anyway," Power said.
Hansbrough was a top candidate for the head coaching job at North Cobb High School before this happened, McFarlin said. He has been coaching at Roswell High for 8 years, and has a wife and small child.
 
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