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Craigslist Gold Digger

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^^ You know, I really don't bother with those types anymore so you're asking the wrong person. Luckily, I have a sweet girlfriend with interests and concerns that extend beyond jewelry and shoe shopping.

I've dated crazy chicks in the past. I once went out with this hottie actress/waitress. She tells me that she has really bad obsessive-compulsive disorder but can't afford medication b/c she has no health insurance. I'm like, okay, whatever. Well, the first time she stays the night at my apartment, I wake up and go to the bathroom to take a piss and discover that at some point during the night, the girl goes into the bathroom, takes everything off of the shelves and arranges all of the items by height along the wall of the bathroom.

True story.
 
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Shivvy77;1127434; said:
^^ You know, I really don't bother with those types anymore so you're asking the wrong person. Luckily, I have a sweet girlfriend with interests and concerns that extend beyond jewelry and shoe shopping.

I've dated crazy chicks in the past. I once went out with this hottie actress/waitress. She tells me that she has really bad obsessive-compulsive disorder but can't afford medication b/c she has no health insurance. I'm like, okay, whatever. Well, the first time she stays the night at my apartment, I wake up and go to the bathroom to take a piss and discover that at some point during the night, the girl goes into the bathroom, takes everything off of the shelves and arranges all of the items by height along the wall of the bathroom.

True story.
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So.....any concern that she was spending the night with you because she was going from biggest to smallest.....and you were date number twenty-nine? :tongue2:
 
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Shivvy77;1127046; said:
Have you ever seen Swingers? Remember that scene where john Favreau is talking to the cute actress type girl at the party in the hollywood hills and she turns to him and asks "what kind of car do you drive."
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When I first moved to Orange County I was always told girls in Newport Beach would ask this. Before they even bothered with regular small talk, this was the first question out of their mouths. I never believed. How fucking shallow do you have to be, ya know? It just wasn't something I could believe was true.








Until I went to a birthday party for my then roommate, at a bar in Newport Beach. I overheard this conversation (if it could be called a conversation)

dude: Hey there, do you mind if I buy you a drink?"
girl: (half turns toward him, flips her hair over her shoulder, eyes him up and down slowly) "What kind of car do you drive, sport?"
dude: (some car, mid range, new, less than 30K, I forget what now)
girl: (says nothing else, turned and continued talking to her girlfriend)


True story, absolutely, no bs.
 
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OCBuckWife;1127620; said:
When I first moved to Orange County I was always told girls in Newport Beach would ask this. Before they even bothered with regular small talk, this was the first question out of their mouths. I never believed. How fucking shallow do you have to be, ya know? It just wasn't something I could believe was true.








Until I went to a birthday party for my then roommate, at a bar in Newport Beach. I overheard this conversation (if it could be called a conversation)

dude: Hey there, do you mind if I buy you a drink?"
girl: (half turns toward him, flips her hair over her shoulder, eyes him up and down slowly) "What kind of car do you drive, sport?"
dude: (some car, mid range, new, less than 30K, I forget what now)
girl: (says nothing else, turned and continued talking to her girlfriend)


True story, absolutely, no bs.
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I have a friend who, after buying a girl one drink, will ask "are you going to f*** me tonight?" It's generally the 4th or fifth question out of his mouth. Works both ways.
 
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Gatorubet;1127693; said:
Quarter horses???

Freaky Deeky!!:biggrin:
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Like $70,000 freaky deaky for a top notch western pleasure horse!

I paid $2500 for my horse in 1990 & could have sold him for $12,000 to $18,000. The trainer approached me after a show that they judged & saw him & was completely surprised by him 2 years later after working with him & offered to buy him. I thought about it but said no thanks,he earned his keep.
I have owned him since he was 3 & he is now almost 21. He has been to OSU equine trauma center twice.
 
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How about instead of gold digger we read a poon-digger ad?

i'm a producer dammit, why won't women have sex with me?!

Date: 2008-03-05, 4:22PM PST


for the life of me, i can't seem to figure out what's going on here. i did all the things that i thought i was supposed to do to put myself in position to score ungodly amounts of hollywood poon. i got an undergrad degree in business from nyu. then i move to LA and complete the Peter Stark producing program at USC. while there i take full advantage of the networking and resume building connections that such an educational stint provides. i graduate and get a job with a major studio. i have a business card with my name on it. under my name is my job title.

"producer."

so where are the legions of young starlets aching for me to tongue-fuck their puckered brown-eyes?

i mean, look, when i was 15 i read robert evans' autobiography, "the kid stays in the picture." there i was, short, mildly chubby, pimple-faced, cursed with a hideous jewfro, unable to get even a nut massage from the homeliest looking humans at horace mann in possession of vaginas, but i figured that if portly, profusely perspirating gasbags like don simpson can have bitches cat-fighting over who gets to blow the next rail off of his diseased cock, certainly i can get laid modestly well if i became a producer.

now i go out to parties and clubs and tell women that i'm a producer and they look at me as if i told them that i have fucking SARS! every night ends with me cruising pornotube at 3am in search of just the right clip to sufficiently inspire me to rub one out into a goldtoe nylon sock.

WTF?!
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OCBuckWife;1128219; said:
How about instead of gold digger we read a poon-digger ad?

i ploducer dammit. why womy no hab sexy tyne?!

Date: 2008-03-05, 4:22PM PST

i seriousry rust!!! i study hawd. i get dean's hono row. i got docoro degree in bidniz fum massa chussa institoo technorogy. then i mube to array and staw twenty-foa ow-a bodega. i may rots money. i hab hore famri come to merka to work for me.

whay's ma chow mein noodoe? whay's ma fowchin chiki? i rook eberybear. i no find haw. i anglee. i no ruuz ma birginity. i ledee pop, u noe?

i not mean. rook. i red chayman mao rittre red book. chayman mao say "arways wanky wanky may no profit". chayman mao no homo. chayman mao say "suck-ih rong. suck-ih haw. suck-ih frequentry." chayman mao say chang kai chek was paggot. i no shang kai chek.

now i go to pawty. i go to crub. i terra womyn i ploducer. i terra eberybody i no hab SARS.

wha' faw?!
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fify... me rub u rung tyne. me hab big noodoe. i rike to serr u candi baw!

tpbp5.jpg
 
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