Craft the Vote!

[OCBuckWife]

Presidential candidates take note: Knitting is no longer a hobby. It's a lifestyle. In America, do-it-yourself handicrafts are everywhere. Magazines like Bust, Make, Craft, and ReadyMade reach out to a hip, young audience whose hands are rarely idle. Even Hugh Hefner's ladies on the reality romp The Girls Next Door have a scrap-booking room in the Playboy Mansion. Forget NASCAR dads and security moms?it's the craft vote that can no longer be ignored. The candidates already missed an opportunity to woo craft leaders at the inaugural Craft Congress, which convened in Pittsburgh this March. (Musical version coming to Broadway in 200 years.) But it's not too late for campaigns to embrace the crafting kind. Sewing circles as fund-raisers! Collage and glitter billboards instead of e-mails! I challenge Hillary, Obama, Mitt, and Rudy to whip out their pinking shears and win the hearts of the DIY crowd. I've suggested politically appropriate projects for each party?DemoCrafts and RepubliCrafts?and whipped up some samples.

(quote courtesy of Slate.com)

RepubliCraft No. 1: Department of Homeland Security Blanket
Endorsed by the White House and Fox News, this colorful scrap quilt is a guide to our ever-changing security alert levels. Each level is labeled with embroidery to distinguish a DHS Blanket from a gay-pride flag. (Note: Blanket is not a safety device. In case of a terrorist attack, DHS Blanket will not protect you.)

RepubliCraft No. 4: Pro-Life Baby Onesie
Make pro-choicers feel the shock and "awwwww." Embroidered appliqu? reads "I'm Alive!" If you have twins, make another one that says, "Post-Born Fetus!" Why abort a baby when you can use it to express your political views?

DemoCraft No. 1: Old Glory Oven Mitts
Better to burn the American flag than your tender hands. Take a standard-issue U.S. flag, cut into mitten shapes, and insulate with wool Army blankets. One flag yields about 13 mitts (one for each of the original colonies). Betsy Ross would be proud. Probably.

DemoCraft No. 4: God-Free Cross-Stitch
Just like Nana would have made?if she'd gone to Wesleyan. For those with more time and better eyesight, try this alternative to the old saying: "Be Patient. My Ability To Transcend My Primitive Evolutionary Biological Impulses Isn't Finished With Me Yet."

Additional Republicrafts and Democrafts can bee seen here, link is at bottom of the article.



I love it when articles poke fun at both sides of the fence!

 

[OSUsushichic]

(quote courtesy of Slate.com)