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Bizarre Soviet TV commercials form the '80's.


I'm using the Internet!!!
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica]Because there was no need to advertise any products, the Soviet Union didn't use to have any TV commercials to speak of. However in Estonia, the proximity to Finland (only 50 miles) and the availability of Finnish TV were seen as a thing of some worrisome capitalist influence, particularly because of glossy advertising of products that "Soviet" people could only dream of.

The fact that the TV sets were supposed to be incompatible (the Soviet system used SECAM instead of PAL) didn't deter crafty TV repairmen. Party lectures about how everything seen on those naughty Finnish advertisements was either fake, or that nobody there could afford anything advertised, didn't ring very believable to anyone.

Hence somebody in the administration came up with the idea of a "counter-strike" to those darn capitalists, and start making their own TV commercials of the best of the (mundane) stuff that the glorious Soviet life could offer. Since nobody in the country had ever had any experience with the subject, apparently they simply tasked some young TV people to fix something up. Some of those rather eccentric commercials were found here.

1. Chicken Minced Meat! Chicken Minced Meat! Chicken Minced Meat!

What can I say, it's the creepiest fucking advertisement I've ever seen, and the soundtrack has been ringing in my mind for near 20 god damn years.

2. Lemons. (Plain old lemons.)

Lemons were actually seldom seen on any store shelves. That explains the hilariousness of how the people in the clip fail to use them properly.

3. Some gizmo that recharged car batteries

No, they didn't pay any royalties for the songs they used.

4. Juices

"Those people win our breakdancing competition! Here's their prize, a gallon of rhubarb and apple juice!".

5. An anti-smoking ad

This one's actually pretty neat. No idea why it is in English, perhaps it was from some film festival or something.

6. Candy

As a kid I loved that one.

Last but not least:

7. Bukkake

Oh those innocent, innocent pre-Internet people.

and some more

8. Beef bouillon

Veiny Muscleman and ... a bison?

9. Chewing gum

Eating gum while watching cabaret was apparently all the rage.

10. Chocolate

Well, this ad works. Now I want chocolate.

11. Onions

Green onions.
Steam engines.
Green onions.
Steam engines.
See the connection yet?
Me neither.