Best Random Tweets

[wadc45]

I resolved to use social media more this year...so I feel this thread is appropriate. If I knew how to tweet it, I would.

https://twitter.com/#!/Dan_Rubenstein

I don't have the research, but is Paula Deen the first person to endorse diabetes pills AND packaged ham?

https://twitter.com/#!/BobLichtenfels

Rich Rodriguez is not playing at #Arizona he has a powerful staff in place, look out #PAC12

https://twitter.com/#!/DennisDMZ

Gingrich is the least likely utopianist I've seen in recent memory, and as utopianists go, the last guy I want to see in a fig leaf.

https://twitter.com/#!/JimGaffigan

Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.

 

[PlanetFrnd]

http://twitter.com/gselevator

Tweets
1 hour ago

GSElevator GS Elevator Gossip

#1: In honor of Martin Luther King this weekend, we should hang out with commies, bang a few hookers, and do some plagiarizing.

GSElevator GS Elevator Gossip

#1: An M3 is for college kids.

GSElevator GS Elevator Gossip

MD#1: Today's WSJ print edition is a great way to test your retention of what you should've read y'day on Bloomberg. A#1: [SILENCE]

GSElevator GS Elevator Gossip

#1: My only real concern about Romney is that he doesn't drink. How can we trust him?

13 hours ago

GSElevator GS Elevator Gossip
[HK] #1: We're getting shown a shitload of Morgan Stanley r?sum?s. #2: Take them out of the trash and send them over to JPMorgan.

17 hours ago

GSElevator GS Elevator Gossip

#1: Chivalry is letting the chick still in your bed sleep in, then giving the doorman $100 to go kick her out in an hour.

18 hours ago

GSElevator GS Elevator Gossip

GSElevator GS Elevator Gossip

#1: A Boxster is a hairdressers car? Or, at best, something you give a girlfriend.

 

[Bucknut24]

GerdOzone Tony Gerdeman
When are The Rock, Adam Sandler and Martin Lawrence going to get together and finally make the worst movie ever?

 

[wadc45]

Gerd is actually pretty funny...

https://twitter.com/#!/denisleary

New pill makes you instantly sober. Comes with a warning: "If sobriety lasts longer than four hours - call your bartender."

New study says smoking pot does not harm lung capacity. It's inhaling half a pound of burrito meat at 4 a.m. that does it.

 

[Bucknut24]

PDBuckeyes Doug Lesmerises
Their first word was "Tebow" RT @PaulSwangard: Biggest aha from ESPN research presentation today, there are 33 children in the US named ESPN

 

[buxfan4life]

PDBuckeyes Doug Lesmerises
Their first word was "Tebow" RT @PaulSwangard: Biggest aha from ESPN research presentation today, there are 33 children in the US named ESPN

What

The

Fuck

 

[darbypitcher22]

PDBuckeyes Doug Lesmerises
Their first word was "Tebow" RT @PaulSwangard: Biggest aha from ESPN research presentation today, there are 33 children in the US named ESPN

Mind blown.

 

[BuckeyeTillIDie]

A few from today:

robdelaney rob delaney



Finally scanned one of those new black & white square code things that are on everything & now $$ shoots out of my dick & I am happy 4eva.

JennyJohnsonHi5 Jenny Johnson



My maid woke me up this morning vacuuming and now I'm in traffic heading to my beach house. Why do bad things always happen to good people?

robdelaney rob delaney



? RT @BarackObama: One time I showed a Canadian guy a guitar & he tried to eat it.

LenoWritersRoom Leno Writer's Room



Invent "Acid Gloves" To Burn Audience Members' Hands When They High-Five Jay

JayBilas Jay Bilas



Person asks, "Why doesn't Bill Raftery use Twitter?" Raftery's friend replies, "Because there's not a breathalyzer on it."

OnionSports Onion Sports Network



Unpopular BCS Crowns Alabama Champions, Pushes Elderly Woman Down Stairs, Wishes Osama Bin Laden Were Alive onion.com/zqbgKB

 

[OHSportsFan]

...

Jeff Svoboda @JeffSvoboda Close
Standing in the Tribe dugout. Hard to believe I'm on the same hallowed ground that Eric Wedge once occupied.

 

[TooTall]

...

Nice.

 

[Bucknut24]

ramzyn Ramzy Nasrallah
Vince Wilfork's gyration celebration dance just got two full sections of people pregnant.

 

[darbypitcher22]

...

Lulz

 

[wadc45]

Recruiting related but worthy:

https://twitter.com/#!/DanWetzel

Gunner Kiel is going to make his decision official by actually enrolling in class (prob ND). Taking the hat dance old school

 

[Bucknut24]

posted in Urban thread, but figured I'd put it here as well

UrbanMeyerOSUHC Urban Meyer (Nope)
Since Wikipedia blacked out here you go. Oversigning: The act of fearing Urban Meyers recruiting efforts to the point of stockpiling humans

 

[wadc45]

Yuri Wright's tweets are why Michigan stopped recruiting him

It's like Will Hill all over again...almost a year to the day.

For those that don't remember:

THE HAPPY FOOTBALL LIFE OF WILL HILL