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Any golfers need a new cart?


I give up. This board is too hard to understand.

New Exhaust, Rims, Accessories Make Electric Golf Cart “Trick”
PASADENA, CA—Local “playa” and Pasadena Countryside Golf Course employee Mike “Tum Tum” Parker is being praised by friends and associates for modifications he made to a golf cart earlier this month. Tum Tum or “Tums” told reporters that the addition and modification of several of the standard 1998 Royal White Golf Cart parts aided in Parker’s dream of completely “tricking out” his ride. The project, which began last September, took nearly 10 months to complete and cost Parker over 52 dollars.

“I always was thinkin’ that the ride I’s had at work was lame-ass,” Tums told correspondents. “Finally I was watching that ‘pimp my ride’ on the MTV, and I decided to do exactly that.” Simon Corey, owner and manager of the Pasadena Countryside Golf Course where Parker is employed, was reluctant at first to allow one of his workers to take possession and make modifications to one of his company’s golf carts. “I wasn’t real sure I liked the idea when Mike first came to me, I had never let one of our golf carts leave the property before,” Corey explained. “But then I realized what a great marketing opportunity that this could turn out to be.”

Above: Mike "Tum Tum" Parker kneels next to his tricked out golfcart, Da' Instigator.

Corey allowed Tums to bring home a golf cart and “trick it out” as long as Parker made sure that the golf course logo was advertised on the hood of the cart. “All the young kids are getting into this new craze,” Corey said. “Ever since that Vin Diesel and ‘The Fast and the Furious’ kids are going nuts for these type of things being done to cars, even my own kids. But no one was really doing anything to other vehicles, like golf carts. I figured if I let Mike trick out that cart he could take it around town and draw some youthful attention to my golf course.”

The demographics of Corey’s Pasadena golf course quickly changed to encompass a younger generation and Corey even went as far as installing an arcade in his recreational center. “I know pay Mike overtime to drive the tricked out cart to different hangouts and it has become some what of a legend here in town,” Corey told reporters. “Almost like the Oscar Myer Wiener mobile."

Tum Tum’s modifications to the electric golf cart include, new dual exhaust system, giant spoiler, kick-ass dub rims, computer chip to monitor engine performance, two nitrous oxide tanks for instant speed boosts, and a variety of pimp stickers, all of which improve the golf carts speed and performance capabilities. With the new improvements the car is said to reach speeds of 30-40 mph, which is far better than most of the modified imports in the area, according to local authorities.

Tum’s says that the new golf cart is far more than he expected and he has plans to start the cart on a Nation wide tour in the fall. “Yo this golf cart is phat, ya’ll just show up for one of the races next week, you’s see what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.” The local law enforcement officials have sponsored several street races that the cart will take part in because of public demand and the need to generate revenue.

Police Commissioner George Randolph explains: “The way I figure it, these obnoxious teens are going to race anyways, why not capitalize on the situation by sponsoring it and selling tickets to benefit law enforcement projects throughout California. The races aren’t dangerous, because all the vehicles involved can barely reach the speed limit.”

Tum’s golf cart, which he has recently entitled “Da’ Instigator,” is set to face off against a Honda civic next weekend and a motorized scooter the following weekend. Da Instigator has yet to lose a race but local fanatics believe if the cart is ever to lose one, it will most definitely be against the motorized scooter.

“I don’t know man, Tum’s has got a sweet ride set up there in Da’ Instigator,” local street racing enthusiast Vince “Smooth 12” Schneider told reporters, “but I think that Mickey and that scooter of his have the upper hand.” Tum’s assured everyone during the announcement of the proposed race that “Da’ Instigator will not lose and that no one will ever get da' pink slip.” The Pasadena Countryside Golf Course has promised a free 18 holes of golf to the first competitor that beats Da’ Instigator and the prize is in the form of a coupon printed on pink paper, which Parker referred to in his speech.

Tickets for the race are being sold at local Auto Zone’s and Pep Boys for 12 dollars. Tum Tum has offered all who are interested in seeing Da’ Instigator to visit him at the downtown Pasadena Pizza Hut after 11:00 PM, where all the cities finest in automotive excellence hang out. Tum’s also offers test-drives for $300 on weekdays only.