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Al Roker- I Sharted Myself At The White House

buckeyemania11

HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE!!!
Former BPCFFB II Champ
'18 Bowl Upset Contest Winner
:slappy:

http://www.tmz.com/2013/01/07/al-roker-shart-white-house-poop-fart-dateline-gastric-bypass-surgery/

When you undergo gastric bypass surgery, NEVER TRUST A FART -- and Al Roker learned that lesson the hard way ... at the White House.

Roker -- who got his stomach stapled in March 2002 -- shared his most embarrassing moment on "Dateline" last night, saying he was covering an event at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave a month after his operation ... when he felt the urge to let one rip.

Roker said, "I probably went off and ate something I wasn't supposed to. And as I'm walking to the press room, [I'm thinking] well, I gotta pass a little gas here. I'm walking by myself. Who's gonna know? Only a little something extra came out. I pooped my pants."

Roker said he beelined for the restroom to dump his underwear in the trash -- and proceeded to go commando the rest of the day.

The lesson: watch what you eat. The other lesson: carry spare underpants.

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2013/01/07/al-ro...ateline-gastric-bypass-surgery/#ixzz2HPrVsjrj
 
I've sharted a few times myself. Just last week I was heading home after a rich meal and the urge to [Mark May], a strong urge hit me. Wouldn't you know, I got stuck at a railroad crossing for the world's longest train. By the time it had passed I still had a few miles to go. I was clenching my buttocks as strongly as i could, I was literally drive with my butt about 6 inches off of the seat as I was using my legs to hold it in. I was miserable. I finally pull into my driveway, exit my vehicle and as luck would have it my porch light was burnt out. As I fumbled looking for the right key a fart shot out of my ass along with some candied yam like poop. I was so close. As soon as i sat down it all shot out in one big explosion. I was just happy that my pants weren't too bad. Once in a similar situation i made it to the toilet only to have it shoot itself out before I could get my ass all the way down. That mess was not a pleasant one to clean up.
 
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DubCoffman62;2289714; said:
I was clenching my buttocks as strongly as i could, I was literally drive with my butt about 6 inches off of the seat as i was using my legs to hold it in.
:slappy:

Happy to report I've never pooped my pants.

I have, however, done the move where I vomit and in one motion pushed myself up, turn 180 degrees, and drop the deuce mid-air as gravity pulls my buttocks to the seat.
 
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Bleed S & G;2289725; said:
:slappy:

Happy to report I've never pooped my pants.

I have, however, done the move where I vomit and in one motion pushed myself up, turn 180 degrees, and drop the deuce mid-air as gravity pulls my buttocks to the seat.
I have never (thankfully) had to [Mark May] and puke at the same time though my sister did one time, she [Mark May] all over the wall.

The only time I've ever fully shit my pants was in New Orleans. It was during the French Quarter festival, I was indulging in blackened catfish, bisque, gumbo, you name it. I suddenly had to shit very badly. There was no way I was going in a potrapotty. My hotel was a few blocks away on Royal, near that house with the corn tassles. I almost made it. About 50 feet from the gate my ass exploded as if there was a suicide bomber in my colon. Not. A. Pretty. Sight.
 
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A few years ago I had the urge to go the restroom in school, like it was BAD. My teacher didn't really believe in letting us go to the bathroom for more than three minutes and this thing was going to take a while. I kept squirming in my seat for at least 15 minutes, thank God I was in the back of the room so no one could really see me. Well when I had the opportunity to finally go I had the worst, most painful diarrhea of my life. Don't try to hold that shit in, it's horrible.
 
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DubCoffman62;2289714; said:
I've sharted a few times myself. Just last week I was heading home after a rich meal and the urge to [Mark May], a strong urge hit me. Wouldn't you know, I got stuck at a railroad crossing for the world's longest train. By the time it had passed I still had a few miles to go. I was clenching my buttocks as strongly as i could, I was literally drive with my butt about 6 inches off of the seat as I was using my legs to hold it in. I was miserable. I finally pull into my driveway, exit my vehicle and as luck would have it my porch light was burnt out. As I fumbled looking for the right key a fart shot out of my ass along with some candied yam like poop. I was so close. As soon as i sat down it all shot out in one big explosion. I was just happy that my pants weren't too bad. Once in a similar situation i made it to the toilet only to have it shoot itself out before I could get my ass all the way down. That mess was not a pleasant one to clean up.

DubCoffman62;2289730; said:
I have never (thankfully) had to [Mark May] and puke at the same time though my sister did one time, she [Mark May] all over the wall.

The only time I've ever fully shit my pants was in New Orleans. It was during the French Quarter festival, I was indulging in blackened catfish, bisque, gumbo, you name it. I suddenly had to shit very badly. There was no way I was going in a potrapotty. My hotel was a few blocks away on Royal, near that house with the corn tassles. I almost made it. About 50 feet from the gate my ass exploded as if there was a suicide bomber in my colon. Not. A. Pretty. Sight.


Thanks for sharing.
vomit.gif
 
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DubCoffman62;2289730; said:
I have never (thankfully) had to [Mark May] and puke at the same time though my sister did one time, she [Mark May] all over the wall.

The only time I've ever fully shit my pants was in New Orleans. It was during the French Quarter festival, I was indulging in blackened catfish, bisque, gumbo, you name it. I suddenly had to shit very badly. There was no way I was going in a potrapotty. My hotel was a few blocks away on Royal, near that house with the corn tassles. I almost made it. About 50 feet from the gate my ass exploded as if there was a suicide bomber in my colon. Not. A. Pretty. Sight.

You and your sister seem quite interesting. I can't wait to read about your parents. :shake::lol:
 
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DubCoffman62;2289730; said:
I have never (thankfully) had to [Mark May] and puke at the same time though my sister did one time, she [Mark May] all over the wall.

The only time I've ever fully [Mark May] my pants was in New Orleans. It was during the French Quarter festival, I was indulging in blackened catfish, bisque, gumbo, you name it. I suddenly had to [Mark May] very badly. There was no way I was going in a potrapotty. My hotel was a few blocks away on Royal, near that house with the corn tassles. I almost made it. About 50 feet from the gate my ass exploded as if there was a suicide bomber in my colon. Not. A. Pretty. Sight.

Dude it sounds like you have IBS.
 
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