Aardvark sex ...... A survey

[scooter1369]

1. Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes, although with the population explosion I think we're down to 14. Regardless, have you had your 15 minutes yet and if so, what were they? I'm going to save a cheer leader and then save the world

2. Do you believe in the existence of extra-terrestrial life? (said, of course, in the non-acting goofy style of Fox Mulder from the X-Files pilot...) yup

3. Toilet paper: Over the top or down the back? down the back is communist

4. The light is red, it's 2 in the morning, there's nobody within miles...will you run it? No. I shoot the fucking thing

5. Do you believe Coke Classic is actually the same as the Coke before they came out with New Coke and reverted back to Coke Classic in a horrendously failed marketing ploy? Its actually RC. They lost the original formula

6. Star Wars, Empire, Jedi, Menace, or Clones? Revenge

7. What cancelled TV shows would you like to see revived? Dark Angel

8. What is that sticky stuff all over theater floors? Hey everyone. Best Buck doesn't know what the sticky stuff is.

9. Why do men have nipples? To pierce them. Duh

10. Have you ever tried to light your farts? Proudly, no

11. Have you ever tried to light someone else's farts? ummm no

12. Do you believe in love, or is all human attraction based solely on a selfish desire to get something--be it sex, money, comfort, or in my case, a good kick in the nuts? Define "selfish"

13. If you're a girl, have you ever kicked a guy in the nuts? How did you feel about it? Do you want to? :) I'll leave this for Bkb/Peach/FKA

14. If you're a guy, ever been kicked by a girl? Wanna send her my way? :) Yes I have. No I'm not sending you my sister

15. Do you think I'm a complete and utter whack ass bizarre perverted freak for asking questions 13 and 14? (The correct answer, of course, is YES.) My threshold for whack ass bizarre perverted freak is above that

16. Do you think Ozzy Osbourne is a washed up drugged out retarded freak; a Ward Cleaver for today's screwed up youth; or the self-proclaimed Prince of Darkness he used to be? Its obvious he's the devil incarnate, convincing people that its ok to be a drugged out retarded freak and still be a father

17. Speaking of Ward Cleaver, do you think June nicknamed her son Beaver in order to reclaim her failing love life in the two-bed asexual sitcom era? I think the big question is 'why was their last name a weapon of choice for serial killers?'

18. Speaking of asexual, do you think Bubbles gets cornholed by Michael while the Elephant Man's bones look down upon them? My threshold for whack ass bizarre perverted freak has been breeched. Well done.

19. Does that thought kind of turn you on in a slightly dirty sort of way? Be honest now. Bubbles is hawt

20. Can you seriously control your anticipation for the next edition of the Aardvark Sex Surveys?[/QUOTE]
I'd like to say yes but my ADD won'.... Cool. Its bedtime

 

[Best Buckeye]

 

[Gatorubet]

aardvarksex1

description: No, this has nothing to do with aardvark sex, but I wanted to be the first one on the list for a while. :) Tell me about yourself!

18. Speaking of asexual, do you think Bubbles gets cornholed by Michael while the Elephant Man's bones look down upon them?

Freaky deeky!

 

[Best Buckeye]

Bump, because I realize my timing for this thread was wrong. It deflinitly is an offseason thread.

 

[BB73]

aardvarksex1

description: No, this has nothing to do with aardvark sex, but I wanted to be the first one on the list for a while. :)

Does anybody actually have their threads sorted in alphabetical order?

 

[Zurp]

Does anybody actually have their threads sorted in alphabetical order?

Mine are sorted by relevance to whether the sunset will be red or if the trashcan is full.

 

[MrsB]

aardvarksex1

description: No, this has nothing to do with aardvark sex, but I wanted to be the first one on the list for a while. :) Tell me about yourself!
1. Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes, although with the population explosion I think we're down to 14. Regardless, have you had your 15 minutes yet and if so, what were they?
yes. Singing the national anthem like harry Belafonte

2. Do you believe in the existence of extra-terrestrial life? (said, of course, in the non-acting goofy style of Fox Mulder from the X-Files pilot...)
yes
3. Toilet paper: Over the top or down the back?
its pretty hard to wipe down the back
4. The light is red, it's 2 in the morning, there's nobody within miles...will you run it? what light.

5. Do you believe Coke Classic is actually the same as the Coke before they came out with New Coke and reverted back to Coke Classic in a horrendously failed marketing ploy? who cares

6. Star Wars, Empire, Jedi, Menace, or Clones? which are the hunkiest

7. What cancelled TV shows would you like to see revived? the flintstones

8. What is that sticky stuff all over theater floors? Bleed Sand G's Balls

9. Why do men have nipples? they use them to attract goldfish when they are bored and drunk

10. Have you ever tried to light your farts? hasn't everyone?

11. Have you ever tried to light someone else's farts? hasn't everyone?

12. Do you believe in love, or is all human attraction based solely on a selfish desire to get something--be it sex, money, comfort, or in my case, a good kick in the nuts? I love my Honey and he loves me, or he better fake it real good.

13. If you're a girl, have you ever kicked a guy in the nuts? How did you feel about it? Do you want to? :) yes, Made my day

14. If you're a guy, ever been kicked by a girl? Wanna send her my way? :)

15. Do you think I'm a complete and utter whack ass bizarre perverted freak for asking questions 13 and 14? (The correct answer, of course, is YES.) YES

16. Do you think Ozzy Osbourne is a washed up drugged out retarded freak; a Ward Cleaver for today's screwed up youth; or the self-proclaimed Prince of Darkness he used to be? why can't he be both?

17. Speaking of Ward Cleaver, do you think June nicknamed her son Beaver in order to reclaim her failing love life in the two-bed asexual sitcom era?
no , I think June named him that because he looked like hers.

18. Speaking of asexual, do you think Bubbles gets cornholed by Michael while the Elephant Man's bones look down upon them?
Michael probably did both of them

19. Does that thought kind of turn you on in a slightly dirty sort of way? Be honest now.I ve been turned on since question no1

20. Can you seriously control your anticipation for the next edition of the Aardvark Sex Surveys?

not for the next 2 seconds at least, wait what was the question?

 

[OCBuckWife]

aardvarksex1


1. Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes, although with the population explosion I think we're down to 14. Regardless, have you had your 15 minutes yet and if so, what were they?
I'm gonna live forever!

2. Do you believe in the existence of extra-terrestrial life? (said, of course, in the non-acting goofy style of Fox Mulder from the X-Files pilot...)
I'm willing to entertain the idea, we haven't seen the whole universe yet.

3. Toilet paper: Over the top or down the back?
Sitting on the back of the toilet ususally

4. The light is red, it's 2 in the morning, there's nobody within miles...will you run it?
Im probably to drunk to drive so I would push the "walk" button.

5. Do you believe Coke Classic is actually the same as the Coke before they came out with New Coke and reverted back to Coke Classic in a horrendously failed marketing ploy?
It all tastes the same with a little Captain in it.

6. Star Wars, Empire, Jedi, Menace, or Clones?
Fuck Star Wars sideways.

7. What cancelled TV shows would you like to see revived?
"Soap" and "Greatest American Hero"

8. What is that sticky stuff all over theater floors?
Alien bodily fluids, mixed with NewCoke

9. Why do men have nipples?
To tell when its cold and they should put on a damn shirt!

10. Have you ever tried to light your farts?
Fire + Ass = no way

11. Have you ever tried to light someone else's farts?
Fire + Ass = no way

12. Do you believe in love, or is all human attraction based solely on a selfish desire to get something--be it sex, money, comfort, or in my case, a good kick in the nuts?
Love has nothing to do with any of that or Donald Trump would never get laid.

13. If you're a girl, have you ever kicked a guy in the nuts? How did you feel about it? Do you want to? :)
No. Not applicable. Speak Softly and carry a Crowbar.

14. If you're a guy, ever been kicked by a girl? Wanna send her my way? :)
Not applicable.

15. Do you think I'm a complete and utter whack ass bizarre perverted freak for asking questions 13 and 14? (The correct answer, of course, is YES.)
Not even close. Try harder.

16. Do you think Ozzy Osbourne is a washed up drugged out retarded freak; a Ward Cleaver for today's screwed up youth; or the self-proclaimed Prince of Darkness he used to be?
Ozzy is dead, he just hasn't figured it out yet.

17. Speaking of Ward Cleaver, do you think June nicknamed her son Beaver in order to reclaim her failing love life in the two-bed asexual sitcom era?
Bastard was supposed to build a damn bridge to the other bed so she could get her freak on once in awhile!

18. Speaking of asexual, do you think Bubbles gets cornholed by Michael while the Elephant Man's bones look down upon them?
Bubbles is a trained monkey. He's in charge and that bone isn't just watching,it's being wielded.

19. Does that thought kind of turn you on in a slightly dirty sort of way? Be honest now.
*Puke*

20. Can you seriously control your anticipation for the next edition of the Aardvark Sex Surveys?

I can only comedically control my anticipation. Otherwise I pee myself.

 

[ScriptOhio]

Aardvark sex, not tonight honey....