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At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou Anne, a lovely 25-year-old. Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that, after their wedding, she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire...

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Exactly how much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men!

A Cambodian, a Japanese, a Korean, a Chinese, a Burmese, a Philippine, a Vietnamese, a Malaysian, and an Indonesian walked into a bar; but the bartender stopped them. "I'm sorry," he told them, "but I can't let you in without a Thai!"

Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the...

A teacher is explaining to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she tells the class. At that, a little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered," she said. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the...

A tough looking gang of bikers were riding when they spotted a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she said. While the biker didn't want to appear insensitive, he...

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway one night when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: "Sisters of St. Francis, House of Prostitution, 10 Miles". He thinks it is a figment of his imagination and continues driving. Soon, he sees another sign, which reads...

Nice try indeed.

Eliminating the rum question makes NJ-Buckeye's version much more funny!

When Jenna awoke from her afternoon nap on New Year's Eve, she confided to her husband, "John, I dreamt you gave me a ring with a huge diamond inset. What do you think that means?" John answered with a smile, "Tonight you'll know." At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, John handed her...

Doesn't anyone see this as a conflict of interest? I mean, how can they support both the SEC and Texas? During ESPNews, will they alternate stories between the two? and how will they decide which will be the lead story? a coin toss? This world is just completely out of whack right now! :wink2...

I just got off the phone with a friend in Minnesota. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is 40 miles per hour, and increasing. His wife has done nothing but look through the...

Thank you Grace, terrific advice.

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I don't think that's important. It boils down to: did their defense hold their opponents offense to less points on any (actually, every) given Saturday?

Er, exactly how many fingers do you have on one hand? You list ten years here. :lol: With Ohio State, using your hands, you could count the number of one loss or better seasons achieved since 1940 (19) on two hands. :wink2:

This may seem a little trite, but almost every time Brandon is mentioned in any article in any media outlet, his name is followed with: the former Dominos Pizza CEO. Don't know if anyone else picks up on that. It's one of those goofy things in life that just makes me smile. :)

That's not apples to apples. If DickRod had suckered the administration into keeping him, 11 more losses in a row would equal: 14 years, 0 wins. vs. 13 years, 2 wins. to be apples to apples, DickRod would have only needed to lose the next 10 in a row. Could he have won one? Probably...

Hope you had a great day, oldtimer!