What I've learned

[DEBuckeye]

Esquire magazine has a column each month called "What I've Learned", in which someone (usually someone famous) lists a page full of things they've learned so far in life. Most of them are serious "life-lesson" kind of things, but some are humorous. Anyway, I thought it might be interesting to see what we've learned.

What I've Learned - DEBuckeye

-There isn't one problem in our society that couldn't have been avoided by following these four simple rules- 1. Pay attention, 2. Follow the rules, 3. Do what you're supposed to do, 4. Think before you act.

-Good things really do come to those who wait.

-Waiting sucks.

-If your heart doesn't completely melt when your child looks at you and smiles, there's something wrong with you.

-I'm turning into my parents, and that's ok.

-Never underestimate the importance of a good sense of humor.

-While awaiting the birth of my son, my Mom said that you never know just how much your parents loved you until you have your own kids. She's right.

-Always respect tradition- "new and improved" frequently isn't.

-michigan SUCKS!

 

[scooter1369]

I don't know if your intent was for others to do the same or not. But you've put together one fine list, my friend.

edit: I guess that was your intent

Here goes:

You never realize how important school is until your done.

Read, read, and read some more.

Everyone needs "me" time.

Your not truly a parent until you have at least two kids. One is easy.

You don't know "one is easy" until you have two.

Nothing hurts more than to outlive one of your children.

Don't take yourself so seriously

Nothing beats a good massage

Be polite

 

[Thump]

Nothing beats a good massage

...followed by a happy ending.

 

[NewYorkBuck]

Lot on family above. Makes me wonder why the happiest guys I know are single......

 

[DEBuckeye]

Is Scooter the only one who's going to play along?

Feel free to add your list...

 

[LoKyBuckeye]

your kids giggles and smiles will make you forget about anything.

it hurts when your kids knees you in the face and gives you a bloody nose.

 

[StooGrimson]

-Outside of the fact that you don't have sex with them, dogs are better companions for men than women.

-No matter how bad your day is, there's someone having one a hell of a lot worse somewhere else...so take a moment to laugh at them. You'll feel better.

-Single men who own cats are usually gay, stupid, annoying, or all of the above.

-A barnyard buster from Tee Jays is heavenly.

-A lap dance is much better when the stripper is crying.

-Valentine's Day is the stupidest holiday ever, while Thanksgiving Day is easily the greatest.

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

-A lap dance is much better when the stripper is crying.

Now THAT is profound!!! Good old BHG!!!

 

[hoat]

- This is going to hurt me more than you, finally makes sense.

- True friendship

- All the married people I know want to be single, and all the single people want to be married

- Quiet time once the kids go to sleep is blissful

- Enjoy the people around you while they are there

- Make time to do something you didn't think you would have time to do

- Splashing someone on the side of the road with your car when you're not in a very good mood really is funny (poor guy, but he did make my day, but boy was he pissed)

 

[martinss01]

- if its bigger than you, you move.

- nothing is ever as simple as it appears, nor as complex.

- you never know what you want in life until your stuck with something you don't.

 

[FKAGobucks877]

- Your parents have always placed your needs above their own. Once you have kids, you realize their needs are your needs.

- Celebrate loved ones while you can. There is no bigger regret than having left something unsaid forever.

- Memories survive death...make sure they are good ones.

- Be loyal - to friends, family, and yourself.

- Happiness is a state of mind (in other words, you can choose to be happy). Contentment is not, you must earn it.

- Love life. Live life. Love who helps you to live your life.

 

[VprHis]

Fear and worry are the biggest timewasters in the world. A daunting task is best accomplished in their absence.

Focus is more important than you can possibly imagine.

 

[GoBucks89]

- You can achieve amazing things when you don't care who gets the credit.

- Don't listen to people who tell you life is short. Life is long. Very long. Make sure you know what to do when all your goals have been achieved.

- Never give up.

- Keeping a marriage together is tough, but loneliness is tougher.

- Children are an incredible blessing.

- Pay it forward.

- You win with people.

 

[Buck Nasty]

If you build it they will come.

The Lord loves a working man,
Don't trust Whitey,
See a Doctor to get rid of it.

Turkeys cannot fly

you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bulls ass, but I would rather take the Butchers word for it.

There is a fine line between stupid and clever

 

[NorthShoreBuck]

It is better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Those that do not make mistakes generally do nothing of value.