Unbelievable but true, underground punk sensations The Dead Schembechlers are now available on seminal music service iTunes.
Music industry insiders were shocked at the band's coup over the forces of The International Wolverine Conspiracy and their seeming death grip on the music distribution business. Unconfirmed reports out of Michigan state that angry scUM fans have burned and looted several Apple Computer stores. An Apple spokesperson stated, "We will not be influenced by these pathetic Michigan rabble. It is their perogative to NOT buy Dead Schembechlers music on our system. I ask them to please respect our right to sell it. I would also like them to turn my car right side up again."
The band members themselves were elated but otherwise somewhat confused. Lead singer Bo Biafra, currently at his private retreat in the international vacation hotspot of Lima OH said, "We're a punk rock band so we don't care fuck all about computers but if it makes it easier for the kids at OSU to get our shit than it can't be all bad. They should still all go vinyl, however." Lead guitarist Bo Thunders may have cleared up some of the mystery of how they got on iTunes when he said, "I flew to Seattle, found Steve Jobs and put a fucking Luger against his head. The feel of the fine German steel against his temple helped convince him to make the right decision for all involved."
At the present time the band's "Wolverine Destroyer" album is available on iTunes. However, plans are afoot to bring the group's four new songs for this year "Buckeye Surfer Girl," "We Don't Give A Damn for the Whole State of Michigan," "Chad Henne is A Motherfucking Joke" and "The Ann Arbor Chainsaw Massacre Christmas Song" to the service during the Big 10 season this fall.
To check out the iTunes store go to
http://www.apple.com/itunes/ and search for Dead Schembechlers.
It is believed that now other download services will soon be following iTunes lead and offering music from Dead Schembechlers. The other services that will carry their stuff include Audio Lunchbox, Avato, Choice Records, Daikai, Bitmonk, Chondo, Destra, Wrap Factory, Play Indies, eMusic, MOD Systems, Pay Play, Rhapsody, Music is Here, MPGreek, Sony Connect, MP3 Extension, MusicNet, Inprodicon, Great Indie Music, Liquid Digital Media, Loudeye, Passalong, Digital Kiosk, Interia, Flip Technologies and MP3 Tunes.
and we'll party like rock stars! 
