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We are officially having drinks in your home town. I taught school where Billy Ray Cyrus graduated. Right. Next. Door. Or, rather, down the creek, past the holl'er. ;)

I'm going to bus in your hillbillies.

Ahem. Lived in Ashland. It may be smaller population wise but narrow-mindedness seems to be even. Burn. ;)

Sounds like this boy needs to learn to speak American.

I'm so tired of everyone cutting on fat Ohioans . . .

I heart you.

On that note, we are having tacos for dinner! I'm cooking! Viva Mexico!

I love you and stuff.

Let me translate. Bad grammar - making him take his BW3's wing out of his mouth to engage in a conversation. Lack of worldliness - How close is BW3's? 20 miles!? Son of a bitch I have to drive again? Fat people - His fellow hot-wing consumers. ;) Joking sweets!

You just have to remember the first rule of West Virginia: Nothing good comes from a cabin in the woods.

I honestly believe you. How else could any self-respecting person NOT throw in a vagina dentata joke after that!? Total softball. Come on guys.

I have a vagina. AND all my teeth.

You're only human.

Shut up you inbred meth-addict.

Having lived in WV, OH, KY, England, The US Virgin Islands, The Cayman Islands, and now NYC . . . I can honestly say the bustling Metropolis that is Columbus, Ohio is superior to any other city. Ever. Yeah. But I'm a huge Donato's and Cinnabon Fan so I may be a bit biased. Yeah. Eat it Ohio...

By "pray for you" he means he'll build an altar around your picture and touch himself inappropriately.

You should really have a doctor take a look at those Ted

Jinx!

Then my bewbies guess totally counts. You cannot think of a Demi bra without thinking of bewbies. It's a proven fact. And, in closing... bewbies.