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Banging slaves three at a time doesn't count, Tom.

My God, I had forgotten what a smashingly handsome woman Grace was before she turned into dust. She left me speechless!

It's called humor, Tilden, and women love it. Perhaps you should've tried it to help you with your little problem?

I've been silent for a century and I'll be silent no more. Listening to twits who are enamored with the sound of their own voices is too much to bear in silence. As for farm animals, Chet, they have far more to fear of ending up on your endless stream of dinner plates, you fat bastard. Maybe...

In your dreams, you doddering pile of dust. You've been taking matters into your own hand for so long you can't distinguish reality from fantasy. Then again, upon what reality would you base it?

You and Tilden have far more in common with this Hart fellow than I, Mr. Burr. Perhaps you should just quit while you're behind? After all, you're all accustomed to it.

That was me as well, meaning I was President for 6 years longer than you, not four. Let's cut the crap. The real reason you're pissed is because you died a virgin, as if that's some big surprise.

Why didn't you just shoot him? That worked so well for you with Hamilton, you fucking neanderthal.

Your knowledge of electoral history is as bad as Burr's. No wonder neither of you matched my accomplishments. See "1924 election", Sammy. You lose.

Apparently, you have no knowledge of the election of 1924 when I kicked ass and took names versus Democrat John Davis and Progressive twinkle toes Robert La Follette. Your accomplishments? The first VP to never serve as President and taking advantage of Hamilton's near-sightedness to kill him...

Is this Wannabe Day or Presidents' Day? Another poser begs for attention on MY day, and I'll have no more of it!

Dream on, Tilden. Perhaps you and Manbearpig should enter counseling to deal with your disappointments and stop living a fantasy?

Who has allowed this impostor to infiltrate our ranks? You, sir, are no former President. Besides, shouldn't you be floating on an iceberg somewhere?

You lose.